13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket

13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket is a promotional pamphlet containing thirteen "secrets" about Lemony Snicket; the final secret is found by decoding a puzzle. It was distributed through the HarperCollins AuthorTracker mailing list and on the Lemony Snicket website in promotion of The End. The day after the pamphlet was published, HarperCollins issued a press release revealing that Lemony Snicket had finished writing The End, the final book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. The final secret is also echoed towards the end of the Dear Reader letter for The End.

Introduction

THE END IS NEAR. BE PREPARED.

There are certain individuals who think they know what Lemony Snicket’s books are about. They are under the impression they understand who he is. They believe they know what to expect. In fact, the truth is far worse than such people ever imagined. This invaluable booklet is intended to prepare you for The End, which is coming Friday the 13th of October, 2006. It discusses some of the most important people, events, and issues in Mr. Snicket’s chronicles of the Baudelaire orphans.

This important booklet contains twelve shocking secrets about Lemony Snicket – secrets that make up the keychain that holds the key that unlocks the door that hides the mystery. And, for those who successfully fill in the missing words on the following pages, the circled letters will form the thirteenth and most shocking secret of all. To properly collect the necessary evidence, you’ll need to use your sources carefully. With every close reading, more evidence comes to light. Dedicated volunteers will research all of the following. “Research” is a word which here means “search again” or “read at least twice.”

1) THE FIRST TWELVE BOOKS IN A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, which contain all of Mr. Snicket’s accounts of the travails of the Baudelaire orphans.

2) LEMONY SNICKET: THE UNAUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY, which is the most incomprehensive source of information on the author available in this country.

3) WWW.LEMONYSNICKET.COM, where one can find important information and sign up for regular updates.

The 13 Secrets Of Lemony Snicket

1. Lemony Snicket is not who you think he is.
   • This may be referencing that Snicket is actually a character in the series; that he is guilty of some of the crimes for which he has been convicted; or simply that he is a pseudonym of Daniel Handler.
2. Lemony Snicket is one of three siblings.
   • Snicket is the youngest of three alphabetically named children: Jacques Snicket, Kit Snicket, and Lemony Snicket.
3. Lemony Snicket's niece is an orphan.
   • Beatrice Snicket is the daughter of Dewey Denouement and Kit Snicket; at the time of the pamphlet's publication, Kit was still alive in the series.
4. Lemony Snicket is wanted for arson.
   • Snicket has been framed for the crimes of Count Olaf
5. Lemony Snicket grew up with a terrible villain.
   • Snicket attended V.F.D. training with Count Olaf, and also had multiple incidents with the villain Hangfire while a V.F.D. apprentice.
6. Lemony Snicket attended boarding school.
   • Snicket attended V.F.D. training, which took place at a boarding school; speculated as being Prufrock Preparatory School which is affirmed in the TV series.
7. When he was a baby, Lemony Snicket was kidnapped by a secret organization.
   • V.F.D. took Snicket and his siblings into training while they were young.
8. Lemony Snicket was fired from The Daily Punctilio.
   • Snicket tried to expose Count Olaf and Esmé Squalor's attempts to embezzle audiences through a theater review column, but was fired by Eleanora Poe.
9. Lemony Snicket helped Beatrice commit a serious crime before her death.
   • Snicket, Beatrice, and Bertrand probably murdered Count Olaf's parents, or this could be Snicket helping Beatrice steal the Sugar Bowl
10. Lemony Snicket was disguised as a bullfighter when he was captured.
    • Lemony Snicket attended the Duchess of Winnipeg's masquerade in a bullfighter costume in an attempt to warn Beatrice about a secret involving Count Olaf, while his enemies closed in from all sides.
11. Lemony Snicket's work is filled with secret messages meant for his associates.
    • In several books Snicket openly communicates with other members of V.F.D., such as his sister Kit.
12. Lemony Snicket has a tattoo of an eye on his ankle.
    • All adult members of V.F.D. are branded with this eye, including Count Olaf, Jacques Snicket, Kit Snicket, Bertrand and Beatrice Baudelaire, Esmé Squalor, Montgomery Montgomery, and Josephine Anwhistle.
13. He is finished.
    • The End contains the death of Count Olaf, the birth of Beatrice Snicket, and the resolution to the Baudelaires' helplessness, so it is no longer Snicket's duty to chronicle the events.

Suspicious characters

Suspicious. . .

The pamphlet includes a chart of "suspicious characters". Lines connect family members, romantic interests, and people who have worked together. However, there are few connections which are unexplained:

• Mr. Poe and Sir
• Captain Widdershins and Hal
• Quigley Quagmire and Mrs. Bass

Topics

There are multiple pages talking about different topics, such as:

"On the Subject of SECRET CODES Members of V.F.D. are believed to routinely transmit secret messages to their associates using a variety of methods. These include, but are not limited to:

• The use of intentional grammatical errors
• Anagrams, or mixing up the letters in a word to form a new word
• Verbal Fridge Dialogue, which encodes information using items in a refrigerator
• Verse Fluctuation Declaration, in which words in a familiar poem are substituted with different words
• The Sebald Code, in which every eleventh word spoken between ringing bells is part of the code
• The circling of coded letter"

Links

• Full pamphlet archived from Lemony Snicket's website
• File:LemonySnicket-Guide.pdf