- Esmé Squalor: Limousine, good afternoon.
- Abraham: My name's actually Abraham.
Abraham, called Limousine by Esmé Squalor, is a chauffeur employed by Esmé and her husband Jerome. He drives them to Herring Houdini and later to Café Salmonella from 667 Dark Avenue, and later also takes them to Gunther's In Auction.
- He is played by Marco Grazzini in the Netflix adaptation of A Series of Unfortunate Events, credited as "Chauffeur". He does not appear in the original book version of The Ersatz Elevator'.