- Randall: Nobody hires a window washer who brings his dog around.
- Armadale: Same with lizards.
Armadale joined a band of drifters for unknown reasons. He is noted to be good at spotting edible mushrooms. He also had several pet lizards, which he had to leave behind in camp in order to get hired for odd jobs.
One day, Armadale and the drifters go to Blotted Boulevard to harvest mushrooms. Upon returning to camp, the guard dog Ashberry is barking incessantly, a smoking cigarillo is found by the fire, and Randall realizes his prized silver spoon is missing. As he had an encounter with Smogface Wiley previously, the drifters realize he is likely the culprit and want to go with Randall to retrieve the spoon, but he insists on going alone. He is, however, turned out.
It is mentioned in the conclusion "Missing Pets" that Armadale's lizards were taken by a Mrs. Flammarion, transporting them in a large tank originally designed for amphibians. Snicket manages to find them, and Mrs. Flammarion admits her crime and returns her keys and wig.
Though Armadale is only mentioned by name in that alternate conclusion, several other conclusions mention lizards and reptiles- "Backseat" mentions that stolen reptile or amphibian eggs were kept in a heated suitcase, "Beneath the Street" says that several small lizards travelled through a drain towards the Clusterous Forest, and "Large Meal" mentions some sort of sauce prepared with the meat of amphibians and lizards. (To a lesser extent, "Quiet Street" mentions Blotted Boulevard, where the drifters went to harvest mushrooms.)