|“||You're a pretty one. If I were you I would try not to anger Count Olaf, or he might wreck that pretty little face of yours.||”|
— The Bald Man to Violet Baudelaire
He appears "as bald as an egg and as devious an Egyptian King."
The Bald Man with the Long Nose appears in the Brad Silberling 2004 film adaptation Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, portrayed by Luis Guzman. He doesn't seem to have a long nose, and is shorter and chubbier than he is portrayed in the books. He is credited as "Bald Man".
He is first seen as the troupe returns to Olaf's house where Violet and Klaus are scrubbing the floor. Olaf orders them to prepare dinner for him and the rest of the troupe, and then he and his associates walk through to the entertainment room to rehearse their upcoming play. In a deleted scene cut from the film, Olaf asks who should play the "bald-headed stranger", and the bald man cheers and raises his hand. Olaf deliberately ignores him and pretends to think hard about the decision. The bald man continues to try to attract his attention until the count turns to him and asks if he wants something, and the henchman points to his bald head. Olaf ignores him and moves onto the next role.
After the Baudelaires tell the troupe that dinner is served, Olaf is enraged to find that they haven't made roast beef and, in another deleted scene, destroys the pasta puttanesca the children had prepared. The troupe stand up and clap and cheer, but they are surprised when Violet speaks up to Olaf and says he didn't tell them he wanted roast beef. They then watch as Olaf grabs Sunny, the youngest orphan, and strikes Klaus across the face. After Olaf puts the children to their bed, the troupe continue rehearsing downstairs.
In the troupe's performance of The Marvelous Marriage, which was actually a scheme in which Olaf would actually marry Violet and inherit her fortune, the bald man is in control of the hydraulics. Before the play, he helps Justice Strauss prepare for her role as a judge. When Olaf says that the other actors he'd considered for her role lacked something, the bald man suggested hair. In a deleted scene the bald man is offended when Olaf calls another character in the play a "naked-headed knave". He later trades his job at the hydraulics for a role in the play as a donkey, though this ends up allowing Klaus to escape and climb up into Olaf's tower room.
After Olaf's plan is foiled and he ends up being captured by the authorities, it's unknown what became of the bald man and the rest of his associates afterwards.
The Bald Man with the Long Nose appears as a recurring boss character in the video game, based on the 2004 Brad Silberling film, voiced by S. Scott Bullock. He first appears in the kitchen of Count Olaf's house, devouring meatballs from a bowl with a fork perfect for Violet's recently thought-up invention. Klaus asks the Bald Man politely if he could borrow the fork, but is declined. A boss battle begins, where the Bald Man flings the meatballs at the children using the fork, and Klaus is given the task of using the Brilliant Bopper to defeat the Bald Man and obtain the fork. The Bald Man then utters, "Stick a fork in me."
He appears later in Uncle Monty's garden courtyard area, disguised as Snake Soothsayer. He sinisterly offers to play a song for Violet and Klaus, which hypnotizes the snakes in Violet's Reptile Retriever, causing them to escape. A boss battle begins where Klaus, armed with the Brilliant Bopper, must attack The Bald Man in each of his four spots while avoiding the poison spitting frogs. Once the four spot part of the battle is finished, the player is then automatically switched to Violet to retrieve the snakes while avoiding the Bald Man's flute sonic blast. The process must be repeated until the fight ends.
The Bald Man then appears at Damocles Dock as the first boss, posing as a musical shop occupant who attacks Violet and Klaus with an anchor.
His final appearance occurs in the Marvelous Marriage battle sequence, where Klaus, armed with the eye, must attempt to burn the villain who holds the marriage certificate. The Bald Man appears among the potential holders of the certificate.
The Bald Man appears in the TV series played by John DeSantis. This version doesn't have a long nose and is larger that the other members of Count Olaf's troupe. In addition, his Foreman Flacutono alias is instead used by the Hook-Handed Man. Unlike the book The Carnivorous Carnival, the Bald Man is not killed when Count Olaf throws Madame Lulu to the Volunteer Feline Detectives. He joins the rest of Count Olaf's troupe in heading to the Mortmain Mountains to seek out the V.F.D. Headquarters.
- The Bad Beginning (First appearance)
- The Reptile Room (Mentioned only)
- The Wide Window (Mentioned only)
- The Miserable Mill
- The Hostile Hospital
- The Carnivorous Carnival
- Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (film)
- Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (video game)
- A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)