|“||Welcome to Café Salmonella, the innest restaurant, and the only one serving an all-salmon menu, including beverages and table linens.||”|
The Café Salmonella is a seafood diner that exclusively serves salmon-based dishes that come with salmon decorations. It is located in the Fish District in the City, near 667 Dark Avenue. In the TV series, it is located directly across from Herring Houdini.
In The Ersatz Elevator, Esmé Squalor tells the Baudelaire children that it is very in because it serves salmon. What's more is that she tells them that they do not let patrons in if they are not wearing pinstripe suits, revealing that Cafe Salmonella is a fine dining restaurant with a high maintenance dress code. During their visit, Jerome Squalor tells the kids that he despises it there, but nonetheless takes them out there to avoid quarreling with Esme.
Known dishes served at the restaurant are:
- Salmon Soup - In the TV series, Larry calls it "creamy salmon soup with a hint of salmon and the eye of a salmon hidden in the bottom of the bowl."
- Salmon salad - In the TV series, it is called salmon-tailed salad with salmon skin croutons.
- Broiled salmon - Served with salmon ravioli in a salmon butter sauce.
- In the TV series, Larry mentions a salmon was "burned alive."
- Salmon pie - Served with a scoop of salmon ice cream.
- Salmon sabayon - Poured from a pitcher that looks like a salmon vomiting.
- Salmon bread - Served with salmon butter distilled from the head of a freshly caught salmon. It also has rutabaga on it.
Instead of ice served in water and other beverages, frozen chunks of salmon are used to flavor them. This is how the salmon water is prepared.
The interior is decorated with pictures of salmon. The tables were decorated with vases full of salmon instead of flowers as expected in an average restaurant. All of the servers wear salmon costumes, which causes carrying plates and trays to be a difficult task.
Café Salmonella had captured the V.F.D. salmon from the Voluntary Fish Domestication program, though their motives remains a mystery. All that is known is that Kit Snicket and her brothers fought against the restaurant after the fleet of V.F.D. salmon were wiped out by the eatery.
Many of the restaurant's waiters who were traitors to those affiliated with V.F.D. from the diner were also present at the In Auction and served salmon puffs, hinting at something secretive. That could mean the cafe might be on the Fire-Starting Side of V.F.D.
- Salmonella is also likely a reference to the infectious disease often found in contaminated food such as dairy, produce, and meat products such as seafood. Jerome's and the Baudelaire children's disdain for the cafe's delicacies is an allusion to one notable symptom that includes loss of appetite.
- The Ersatz Elevator
- The Grim Grotto (Mentioned only)
- Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (Mentioned only)
- A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)