The Café Salmonella is a seafood diner, serving only salmon-based dishes and with salmon decorations. It is located in the Fish District in the City, near 667 Dark Avenue. In the TV series, it is directly across from Herring Houdini.
In The Ersatz Elevator, Esmé Squalor tells the children it is very in because it serves salmon. Esmé tells the Baudelaires that they, apparently, do not let you in if you are not wearing pin stripe suits, at the time The Ersatz Elevator takes place. Jerome Squalor despises the restaurant, as he tells the Baudelaires during their meal.
Known dishes are:
- Salmon soup - In the TV series, Larry calls it "creamy salmon soup with a hint of salmon and the eye of a salmon hidden in the bottom of the bowl."
- Salmon salad - In the TV series, it is called salmon-tailed salad with salmon skin croutons.
- Broiled salmon - Served with salmon ravioli in a salmon butter sauce.
- In the TV series, Larry mentions a salmon was "burned alive."
- Salmon pie - Served with a scoop of salmon ice cream.
- Salmon sabayon - Poured from a pitcher that looks like a salmon vomiting.
- Salmon bread - Served with salmon butter distilled from the head of a freshly caught salmon. It also has rutabaga on it.
Instead of ice served in drinks, frozen chunks of salmon are used. This is how the salmon water is made.
The interior is decorated with salmon pictures. The tables were decorated with vases full of salmon, instead of flowers. All of the waiters wear salmon costumes which made it difficult for them to carry plates and trays.
Café Salmonella captured the V.F.D. salmon from the Voluntary Fish Domestication program. Kit Snicket and her brothers fought against the restaurant after it wiped out the fleet of V.F.D. salmon.
Many of the restaurant's waiters were traitors to V.F.D. Waiters from the diner were also present at the In Auction and served salmon puffs, hinting at something secretive.
- Salmonella is also likely a reference to the infectious disease often found in contaminated food.
- The Ersatz Elevator
- The Grim Grotto (Mentioned only)
- Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (Mentioned only)
- A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)