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{{CharacterInfobox
 
{{CharacterInfobox
|image = [[File:EsmeSqualor.png|250px]]
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|image = <gallery>
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File:Esme suit.jpeg|Netflix
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File:Esmebooksquare.png|Books
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</gallery>
 
|name = Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor
 
|name = Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor
 
|died = [[Hotel Denouement]] fire (possibly)
 
|died = [[Hotel Denouement]] fire (possibly)
|alias = Officer Luciana <br> Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold (TV series) <br> Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen (TV series) <br> Cassandra Ursula Terrific Elliandra (TV series)
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|alias = *[[Officer Luciana]]
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*Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold (TV series)
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*Donatella Violetta Cappuccino Milano (TV series)
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*Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen (TV series)
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* [[Nurse Cassandra Ursula Terrific Elliandra-]] (TV series)
 
|gender = Female
 
|gender = Female
|family = [[Jerome Squalor]] (former husband) <br> [[Count Olaf]] (former boyfriend) <br> [[Violet Baudelaire]] (former adoptive daughter) <br> [[Klaus Baudelaire]] (former adoptive son) <br> [[Sunny Baudelaire]] (former adoptive daughter) <br> [[Carmelita Spats]] (adoptive daughter)
 
|love interests = [[Count Olaf]] <br> [[Jerome Squalor]] (because of his penthouse)
 
|job = City's sixth most important financial advisor
 
* Villain of [[V.F.D.]]
 
|loyalty = [[V.F.D.]] <br> [[Count Olaf]] (formerly)
 
|born =
 
|title =
 
 
|height = Tall
 
|height = Tall
 
|hair = Brunette (books)<br>Blonde (TV series)
 
|hair = Brunette (books)<br>Blonde (TV series)
|eyes =
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|eyes = Hazel (TV series)
|skin = Light}}
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|skin = Light (TV series)
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|family = [[Jerome Squalor]] (ex husband) <br> [[Count Olaf]] (former boyfriend) <br> [[Violet Baudelaire]] (former adoptive daughter) <br> [[Klaus Baudelaire]] (former adoptive son) <br> [[Sunny Baudelaire]] (former adoptive daughter) <br> [[Carmelita Spats]] (adoptive daughter)
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|love interests = [[Count Olaf]] <br> [[Jerome Squalor]] (due to his penthouse)
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|interest(s) = Trends
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|job = City's sixth most important financial advisor<br>Villain of [[V.F.D.]]
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|loyalty = *[[Volunteer Fire Department#The Fire-Starting Side|Fire-starters]]
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*[[Count Olaf]] (formerly)
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|book appearances = * [[Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]
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* [[The Ersatz Elevator]]
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* [[The Vile Village]]
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* [[The Hostile Hospital]]
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* [[The Carnivorous Carnival]]
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* [[The Slippery Slope]]
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* [[The Grim Grotto]]
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* [[The Penultimate Peril]]
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|adaptation appearances = * [[A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)|Netflix Adaptation]]: [[The Ersatz Elevator: Part One]], [[The Ersatz Elevator: Part Two]], [[The Vile Village: Part One]], [[The Vile Village: Part Two]], [[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part One]], [[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part Two]], [[The Slippery Slope: Part One]], [[The Slippery Slope: Part Two]], [[The Grim Grotto: Part One]], [[The Grim Grotto: Part Two]], [[The Penultimate Peril: Part One]], [[The Penultimate Peril: Part Two]]
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|actors = [[Lucy Punch]] (TV series)
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}}
 
{{Quote|Oh, yes! Aqueous martinis are in! I'm Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. Even though I am unbelievably wealthy, you may call me Esmé. I'll learn your names later. I'm very happy you're here, because orphans are in, and when all my friends hear that I have three real live orphans, they'll be sick with jealousy, won't they, Jerome?|Esmé, meeting the Baudelaire orphans}}
 
{{Quote|Oh, yes! Aqueous martinis are in! I'm Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. Even though I am unbelievably wealthy, you may call me Esmé. I'll learn your names later. I'm very happy you're here, because orphans are in, and when all my friends hear that I have three real live orphans, they'll be sick with jealousy, won't they, Jerome?|Esmé, meeting the Baudelaire orphans}}
   
'''Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor''' is a very fashionable dresser who is well-known for her obsession with fashion and status of what is ''[[in]]''. She is a major antagonist in ''[[A Series of Unfortunate Events]]'' introduced in ''[[The Ersatz Elevator]]''. She adopts the Baudelaires orphans with her husband [[Jerome Squalor|Jerome]] because she claims orphans are "in", showing them the lifestyles of the rich and famous.
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'''Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor''' is [[the City]]'s sixth most important financial advisor" although it is unclear how this was determined as importance is often subjective. She is a a very fashionable dresser who is known for her obsession with fashion and status of what is ''[[in]]. ''Sources like ''Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorised Biography ''suggest she may be a former V.F.D. member.
   
However, it is revealed during the book that Esmé is an ally of [[Count Olaf]]. She eventually becomes his girlfriend and joins his group of [[Count Olaf's associates|associates]] in their schemes of stealing the [[Baudelaire Fortune|Baudelaire fortune]], and begins stalking and tormenting the Baudelaires in ''[[The Vile Village]]'' and onwards.
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Esmé is introduced in ''[[The Ersatz Elevator]]''. She adopts the Baudelaires orphans with her husband [[Jerome Squalor|Jerome]] because she claims orphans are "in", showing them the lifestyles of the rich and famous. However, it is revealed during the book that Esmé is an ally of [[Count Olaf]]. She eventually becomes his girlfriend and joins his group of [[Count Olaf's associates|associates]] in their schemes of stealing the [[Baudelaire Fortune|Baudelaire fortune]].
   
 
In ''[[The Penultimate Peril]]'', Olaf eventually decides to leave her behind due to her obscene obsession with fashion. Olaf says he is tired of having a girlfriend obsessed with fashion and that all she does is sit around relaxing while he runs around doing all the hard work. Even after Esmé defends herself, saying she was on guard, Olaf fires her anyway. Esmé refuses to be fired, saying she quits, and Olaf says she can leave by mutual agreement.
 
In ''[[The Penultimate Peril]]'', Olaf eventually decides to leave her behind due to her obscene obsession with fashion. Olaf says he is tired of having a girlfriend obsessed with fashion and that all she does is sit around relaxing while he runs around doing all the hard work. Even after Esmé defends herself, saying she was on guard, Olaf fires her anyway. Esmé refuses to be fired, saying she quits, and Olaf says she can leave by mutual agreement.
   
 
== Personality ==
 
== Personality ==
Esmé is very materialistic and vain, obsessed with popularity, status, trends and fads. She is primarily focused on fashion and doing things that are "in" or stylish, disregarding practicality. For example, she smokes simply because cigarettes are in, even though she hates the taste and smell of them, and hates that they're unhealthy, so she prefers to use a long holder. She even buys [[aqueous martini]]s and [[parsley soda]]. She leads a life of crime because it is "in" and is obsessed with collecting money because money is "in", even though she is already "unbelievably wealthy."
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{{Quote|Look at me! I'm beautiful, fashionable, and I smoke cigarettes!|Esme Squalor, [[The Slippery Slope]]}}Esmé is a very vapid, materialistic, and vain woman, obsessed with popularity, status, trends, and fads. She frequently buys "in" clothing, items, and furniture to decorate her apartment suite. Her number one priority in life, above all else, seems to be "in" and fashionable, no matter how insane being "in" means, valuing being stylish over practicality. For example, she smokes simply because cigarettes are in, even though she hates the taste and smell of them, and hates that they're unhealthy, so she prefers to use a long holder. She even buys [[aqueous martini]]s and [[parsley soda]]. She leads a life of crime because it is "in". Even though she is already "unbelievably wealthy", she is obsessed with collecting money because money is "in", and she frequently brags about how wealthy she is and how much money is in her bank account. It is likely that if money was "out", she would give her finances away just so she could be "in"
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When she appears, she always appears in "fashionable" outfits, treating life as a fashion show and trying to find every opportunity to flaunt her outfits. While the Baudelaires are concerned about things like saving their friends while trying not to die in the process, Esmé is concerned about what to wear. In ''The Hostile Hospital'', Lemony Snicket calls Esmé a slave to fashion, a phrase which here means "dressed in incredibly expensive, and often incredibly absurd, outfits."
   
When she appears, she sometimes appears in "fashionable" outfits, treating life like a fashion show and trying to find every opportunity to flaunt her outfits. While the Baudelaires are concerned about not dying, Esmé is concerned about what to wear. In ''The Hostile Hospital'', Lemony Snicket calls Esmé a slave to fashion, a phrase which here means "dressed in incredibly expensive, and often incredibly absurd, outfits."
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She is very selfish and inconsiderate towards everyone such as Jerome, the Baudelaires, and sometimes even Count Olaf. She does not want to donate money to poor people because it means she will be less "in" and she wants people to feel sorry for. Esmé is a prolific pathological liar, slandering and accusing the Baudelaires of things they did not do such as murdering "Count Omar", and she is also shown to be incredibly manipulative, playing the victim to get people on her side. When the Bald Man paints a detailed portrait of her, she immediately criticizes it by saying he got her nose wrong.
   
She is very selfish and inconsiderate towards everyone such as Jerome, the Baudelaires and Count Olaf often. The only exception seems to be Carmelita Spats, whom she develops motherly tendencies for, freely buying her the same stylish things she herself is obsessed with. She spoils Carmelita as if she isn't already spoiled enough, enabling Carmelita's greedy behavior. Parents with narcissistic personality disorder, which Esmé likely has, often view their children as extensions of themselves, which may explain why Esmé spoils Carmelita.
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Like Count Olaf, she could also be considered a sociopath and/or psychopath, due to her enjoyment when engaged in various crimes that often violently impact the lives of others. In ''The Hostile Hospital'', she tries to stab Violet, and later, encourages [[Klaus Baudelaire]] to kill his sister by cutting off her head. In ''The Slippery Slope'', Esmé is "astonished" when the [[White-Faced Women]] refuse to throw [[Sunny Baudelaire]] off a mountain as if the idea is not that repulsive for someone to do.[[File:EsmeCoat.png|thumb|left|250px|Esmé donning a fur coat made from the fur of a number of animals that had been killed in particularly unpleasant ways.]]
   
Like Count Olaf, she could also be considered a psychopath, due to her engaging in various crimes that often violently impact the lives of others. In ''The Slippery Slope'', Esmé is "astonished" when the [[White-Faced Women]] refuse to throw [[Sunny Baudelaire]] off a mountain.
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The only exception to her selfishness seems to be [[Carmelita Spats]], whom she develops motherly tendencies for, freely buying her the same stylish things she herself is obsessed with. She spoils Carmelita as if she isn't already spoiled enough, enabling and encouraging Carmelita's greedy behavior. Parents with a narcissistic personality disorder, which Esmé likely has, often view their children as extensions of themselves, which may explain why Esmé spoils Carmelita.
   
Considering her overall personality, it should be no surprise that Esmé does not care about the welfare of animals and is willing to wear fur coats. She wears one in ''The Hostile Hospital''. Lemony Snicket notes, "This evening she was wearing a long coat made from the fur of a number of animals that had been killed in particularly unpleasant ways."
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Considering her overall cruel and unempathetic personality, it should be no surprise that Esmé does not care about the welfare of animals. Lemony Snicket notes, "This evening she was wearing a long coat made from the fur of a number of animals that had been killed in particularly unpleasant ways." She also jokes while trying to kill a crow, "The only bird I like is in a chicken sandwich," showing she does not care about any birds that do not taste good.
   
 
== Biography ==
 
== Biography ==
=== Before ''The Ersatz Elevator'' ===
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===Early Life ===
Esmé is "[[The City|the city]]'s sixth most important financial advisor" and an actress.
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Esmé starred in [[Al Funcoot]]'s ''[[One Last Warning to Those Who Try to Stand in My Way]]''. Lemony Snicket published a scathing review of the performance in ''[[The Daily Punctilio]]'' saying that Esmé "was simply dreadful", "cannot act", and "cannot sing." This resulted in [[Eleanora Poe]] firing Lemony and printing a public apology to Esmé. ''[[The Daily Punctilio]]'' also ran a special article about her entitled "Actress, Financial Advisor, and Unmarried Woman: How Does Esmé Do It?"
   
She starred in [[Al Funcoot]]'s ''One Last Warning to Those Who Try to Stand in My Way''. Lemony Snicket published a scathing review of the performance in ''[[The Daily Punctilio]]'' saying that Esmé "was simple dreadful", "cannot act", and "cannot sing." This resulted in [[Eleanora Poe]] firing Lemony and printing a public apology to Esmé. ''The Daily Punctilio'' also ran a special article about her entitled "Actress, Financial Advisor, and Unmarried Woman: How Does Esmé Do It?"
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[[Geraldine Julienne]], a reporter from ''The Daily Punctilio'', is a huge fan of Esmé. After Esmé wrote to her, Geraldine wrote back to tell Esmé about [[Jerome Squalor]]. The information included that Jerome is unmarried, that he recently bought the penthouse at [[667 Dark Avenue]], and that "every morning he has breakfast down the street at the [[Veritable French Diner]]...between seven thirty and eight thirty A.M." where Esmé could "'accidentally' bump into him."
   
[[Geraldine Julienne]], a reporter from ''The Daily Punctilio'', is huge fan of Esmé. After Esmé wrote to her, Geraldine wrote back to tell Esmé about Jerome Squalor. The information included that Jerome is unmarried, that he recently bought the penthouse at [[667 Dark Avenue]], and that "every morning he has breakfast down the street at the [[Veritable French Diner]]...between seven thirty and eight thirty A.M." where Esmé could "'accidentally' bump into him."
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Later, [[Jacques Snicket]] received a wedding invitation from Jerome announcing his upcoming wedding to Esmé. Jacques sent an urgent letter to Jerome telling him "that under no circumstances should you marry that woman". However, Jerome never receives that letter. The pair married at the [[Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes]], which [[Café Salmonella]] catered for. Esmé claims that [[Beatrice Baudelaire]] "stole" from her, leading her to want to steal from Beatrice's children.{{r|TEE}} 
   
Later, [[Jacques Snicket]] received a wedding invitation from Jerome announcing his upcoming wedding to Esmé. Jacques sent an urgent letter to Jerome telling him "that under no circumstances should you marry that woman". However, Jerome never receives that letter. The pair married at the [[Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes]] with the food coming from [[Café Salmonella]].
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=== ''[[The Ersatz Elevator]]''  ===
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Esmé was first introduced in Book the Sixth as [[The City|the city]]'s sixth most important financial advisor. She is the wife of Jerome Squalor and the new guardian of the Baudelaire children. Esmé and Jerome live in a tall apartment penthouse at [[667 Dark Avenue]] with many flights of stories.
   
Esmé claims that [[Beatrice Baudelaire]] "stole" from her, leading her to want to steal from Beatrice's children.{{r|TEE}} In the TV series, Esmé explicitly states that Beatrice stole a [[the Sugar Bowl|sugar bowl]] from her.{{r|THH1}}
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Esmé's obsession with fashionable things (what is "[[in]]" and what is "[[out]]") reveals itself when she announces that she only took the Baudelaires into her home because orphans were now "in". Her kind husband wanted to take care of the children as soon as he heard of their troubles, but his wife firmly refused because orphans were "out".
   
=== ''The Ersatz Elevator'' ===
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She does not care about the Baudelaire children, doesn't care about learning their names, insults their "horrible" clothing for being "out", doesn't want to hear them complain that their friends ([[Duncan Quagmire|Duncan]] and [[Isadora Quagmire]]) were abducted by Count Olaf, and ignores them as she prepares for the upcoming "[[In Auction]]".
Esmé was first introduced in Book the Sixth as [[The City|the city]]'s sixth most important financial advisor. She is the wife of Jerome Squalor and the new guardian of the Baudelaire children. Esmé and Jerome live in a tall apartment penthouse at [[667 Dark Avenue]] with many flights of stories.
 
   
Esmé's obsession with fashionable things (what is "[[in]]" and what is "[[out]]") reveals itself when she announces that she only took the Baudelaires into her home because orphans are now "in". Her kind husband wanted to take care of the children as soon as he heard of their troubles, but his wife firmly refused because orphans were "out".
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[[File:LaughingManiacally.png|thumb|250px|Esmé betrays the Baudelaires by pushing them down an elevator shaft.]]
   
[[File:EsmeTop.png|thumb|Esmé at the open elevator door.]]
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Her assistant auctioneer, [[Gunther]], is recognized by the Baudelaires to be [[Count Olaf]] in yet another disguise. They attempt to warn both the Squalors of his true identity, but Jerome thinks they are merely suffering from xenophobia and doesn't believe them. Esmé, however, reacts more sinisterly and pushes the three orphans down an empty elevator shaft, revealing to them that Count Olaf is, in fact, her former acting teacher.
   
She does not care about the children, doesn't want to hear them complain that their friends (the Quagmires) were abducted by Count Olaf, and ignores them as she prepares for the upcoming "[[In Auction]]". Her assistant auctioneer, [[Gunther]], is recognized to be [[Count Olaf]] in yet another disguise. They attempt to warn both the Squalors of his true identity, but Jerome thinks they are merely suffering from xenophobia and doesn't believe them. Esmé, however, reacts more sinisterly and pushes the three orphans down an empty elevator shaft, revealing to them that Count Olaf is in fact her former acting teacher.
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When the Baudelaires rush to [[Veblen Hall]], Esmé is present and surprised to see the Baudelaires. When the Baudelaires manage to foil Olaf's plot, she leaves her husband to run off with Olaf. She and Olaf escape in a black truck with a big red herring with the Quagmires inside.
   
In the finale of the book, when the Baudelaires rush to [[Veblen Hall]], Esmé is present and surprised to see the Baudelaires. When the Baudelaires manage to foil Olaf's plot, she leaves her husband to run off with Olaf. She and Olaf escape in a black truck with a big red herring with the Quagmires inside.
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=== ''[[The Vile Village]]'' ===
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[[File:Officer_Luciana_Esmé.jpeg|thumb|250px|Esme, disguised as Officer Luciana, wielding a harpoon gun.]]
   
=== ''The Vile Village'' ===
 
 
Likely to cover up her reputation, ''[[The Daily Punctilio]]'' writes an article claiming that Esmé was abducted by Olaf.
 
Likely to cover up her reputation, ''[[The Daily Punctilio]]'' writes an article claiming that Esmé was abducted by Olaf.
   
Esmé and Olaf, posing as Police Officer Luciana and [[Detective Dupin]] (it is implied that Olaf murdered the real police chief), follow the Baudelaires to the [[Village of Fowl Devotees]]. Olaf murders a man with a similar tattoo of an eye named [[Jacques Snicket]] and frames the Baudelaires with his girlfriend's assistance. The children attempt to escape in their new guardian [[Hector]]'s [[Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home|Hot Air Mobile Home]] with their friends, the [[Quagmire]]s, but Esmé shoots the rope ladder with a [[harpoon gun]] and manages to prevent the Baudelaires from leaving, though the Quagmires and Hector manage to escape. When Esmé accidentally injures a crow in the process, the Village turns on her and Olaf and they skip town on a motorcycle.
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Esmé and Olaf, posing as Police [[Officer Luciana]] and [[Detective Dupin]] (it is implied that Olaf murdered the real police chief) respectively, follow the Baudelaires to the [[Village of Fowl Devotees]]. Olaf murders a man with a similar tattoo of an eye named [[Jacques Snicket]] and frames the Baudelaires with his girlfriend's assistance. The children attempt to escape in their new guardian [[Hector]]'s [[Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home|Hot Air Mobile Home]] with their friends, the Quagmires, but Esmé shoots the rope ladder with a [[harpoon gun]] and manages to prevent the Baudelaires from leaving, though the Quagmires and Hector manage to escape. When Esmé accidentally injures a crow in the process, the Village turns on her and Olaf and they skip town on a motorcycle.
   
=== ''The Hostile Hospital'' ===
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=== ''[[The Hostile Hospital]]'' ===
Esmé poses as a doctor and chases the Baudelaires around the library of records. Since her stiletto heels are actually made with daggers as heels, her shoes keep sticking to the floor and she is unable to properly run after the three orphans. Thinking outside the box, she shoves over heavy cabinets of documents which fall over like dominoes, trapping and capturing [[Violet Baudelaire|Violet]] in the process. She, along with other members of Olaf's theatre troupe, arrange for Violet  -now called Laura V. Bleediotie- to have the world's first ever "cranioectomy", a surgical procedure to remove Violet's head from her body. When Klaus and Sunny foil this plan, the hospital goes up in flames and Esmé escapes with Olaf.
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[[File:Esmé_Nurse.jpeg|thumb|200px|Esmé disguised as a Heimlich Hospital nurse.]]
   
=== ''The Carnivorous Carnival'' ===
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Esmé poses as a doctor at [[Heimlich Hospital]] and chases the Baudelaires around the [[Library of Records]]. Since her stiletto heels are actually made with daggers as heels, her shoes keep sticking to the floor and she is unable to properly run after the three orphans. Thinking outside the box, she shoves over heavy cabinets of documents which fall over like dominoes, trapping and capturing [[Violet Baudelaire|Violet]] in the process. She, along with other members of Olaf's theatre troupe, arrange for Violet - now called [[Laura V. Bleediotie]] - to have the world's first ever "cranioectomy", a surgical procedure to remove Violet's head from her body. When Klaus and [[Sunny Baudelaire|Sunny]] foil this plan, the hospital goes up in flames and Esmé escapes with Olaf.
Esmé wishes to celebrate the fact that everyone thinks Count Olaf is dead and the Baudelaires are thought to be his murderers. In reality, Count Olaf murdered Jacques Snicket - making everyone think Snicket was really the Count - and framed the Baudelaires for the crime in ''The Vile Village''. But before they can celebrate, Count Olaf wants to find out where the Baudelaires are first. Though they hope that one or two burned to a crisp in the hospital fire, Olaf admits all three are alive and well. If two Baudelaires had died, Olaf hopes Violet survived because she's the prettiest, the Hook-Handed man hopes Sunny survived because he wants to stuff her in a birdcage again, and Esmé doesn't care who the survivor would be, she just wants to know where they are.
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=== ''[[The Carnivorous Carnival]]'' ===
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Esmé wishes to celebrate the fact that everyone thinks Count Olaf is dead and the Baudelaires are thought to be his murderers. In reality, Count Olaf murdered Jacques Snicket - making everyone think Snicket was really the Count - and framed the Baudelaires for the crime in ''The Vile Village''. But before they can celebrate, Count Olaf wants to find out where the Baudelaires are first. Though they hope that one or two burned to a crisp in the hospital fire, Olaf admits all three are alive and well. If two Baudelaires had died, Olaf hopes Violet survived because she's the prettiest, the [[Fernald|Hook-Handed Man]] hopes Sunny survived because he wants to stuff her in a birdcage again, and Esmé doesn't care who the survivor would be, she just wants to know where they are.
   
 
The troupe goes to [[Olivia Caliban|Madame Lulu]], a fortune teller who has accurately predicted the location of the Baudelaires every time Count Olaf lost track of them. Madame Lulu seems to have been romantically involved with Count Olaf and flirts with him enough to make Esmé very jealous.
 
The troupe goes to [[Olivia Caliban|Madame Lulu]], a fortune teller who has accurately predicted the location of the Baudelaires every time Count Olaf lost track of them. Madame Lulu seems to have been romantically involved with Count Olaf and flirts with him enough to make Esmé very jealous.
Line 72: Line 64:
 
When the Baudelaires use Olaf's and Esmé's clothing and makeup supplies to disguise themselves as carnival freaks, Esmé approves of their style. She laughs along with everyone else when Violet and Klaus - disguised as a two-headed person - struggle to eat an ear of corn, and wants Sunny - disguised as Chabo, a half-human, half-wolf baby - to stay away from her because the wild child may ruin her outfit.
 
When the Baudelaires use Olaf's and Esmé's clothing and makeup supplies to disguise themselves as carnival freaks, Esmé approves of their style. She laughs along with everyone else when Violet and Klaus - disguised as a two-headed person - struggle to eat an ear of corn, and wants Sunny - disguised as Chabo, a half-human, half-wolf baby - to stay away from her because the wild child may ruin her outfit.
   
Speaking of outfits, she dons a variety of items, including a sash reading "I Love Freaks", in order to seem accepting of the people employed in [[Caligari Carnival]]'s freak show. She appears to care about their fates and attempts to convince them all to join Olaf's troupe, flattering most of the freaks into adoring her. The freaks are excited at the idea of joining Olaf's troupe, but the price they'd have to pay is throwing Madame Lulu into a pit of lions. Esmé is jealous of the fortune teller and is sick of Olaf buying her presents, so in order to quell the freaks' misgivings she gives them gifts to help them appear more normal. The freaks are thrilled and agree to murder Madame Lulu.
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[[File:LoveFreaks.png|thumb|250px|Esme wearing an outfit that says "I love freaks" to persuade Hugo, Kevin and Colette.]]
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Speaking of outfits, she dons a variety of items, including a sash reading "I Love Freaks", in order to seem accepting of the people employed in [[Caligari Carnival]]'s freak show: [[Hugo]], [[Kevin]] and [[Colette]]. She appears to care about their fates and attempts to convince them all to join Olaf's troupe, flattering most of the freaks into adoring her. The freaks are excited at the idea of joining Olaf's troupe, but the price they'd have to pay is throwing Madame Lulu into a pit of lions. Esmé is jealous of the fortune teller and is sick of Olaf buying her presents, so in order to quell the freaks' misgivings, she gives them gifts to help them appear more normal. The freaks are thrilled and agree to murder Madame Lulu.
   
 
Once Lulu is out of the picture, a happy Esmé and Olaf decide to burn down Caligari Carnival to remove all the evidence of their being there. Esmé travels with Olaf to the Mortmain Mountains in order to find the [[V.F.D.]] headquarters.
 
Once Lulu is out of the picture, a happy Esmé and Olaf decide to burn down Caligari Carnival to remove all the evidence of their being there. Esmé travels with Olaf to the Mortmain Mountains in order to find the [[V.F.D.]] headquarters.
   
=== ''The Slippery Slope'' ===
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=== ''[[The Slippery Slope]]'' ===
Esmé, Olaf, and the troupe escape to the [[Mortmain Mountains]], where they force [[Sunny Baudelaire|Sunny]] to do ridiculous chores, and discuss their plan of action with the [[Man With a Beard But No Hair|Man With A Beard But No Hair]] and the [[Woman With Hair But No Beard]]. In her latest "in" escapade, Esmé smokes a [[Verdant Flammable Device]], which she thinks are cigarettes, and dons a dress that resembles a large fire. Hoping to trade Esmé for Sunny, the Baudelaires set a trap for Esmé, but then in a moment of conscience, they prevent her from falling into it. Esmé meets [[Carmelita Spats]] and decides to adopt her, much to Olaf's chagrin.
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Esmé, Olaf, and the troupe escape to the [[Mortmain Mountains]], where they force [[Sunny Baudelaire|Sunny]] to do ridiculous chores and discuss their plan of action with the [[Man With a Beard But No Hair]] and the [[Woman With Hair But No Beard]]. In her latest "in" escapade, Esmé smokes a [[Verdant Flammable Device]], which she thinks are cigarettes and dons a dress that resembles a large fire, which she apparently stole from [[Beatrice Baudelaire|Beatrice]].<ref>The initial "B" is on the dress.</ref> 
   
=== ''The Grim Grotto'' ===
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Hoping to trade Esmé for Sunny, the Baudelaires set a trap for Esmé, but then in a moment of conscience, they prevent her from falling into it. When [[Quigley Quagmire]] expresses how he feels that throwing people into pits is not the greater good and that it's villainous treachery, Esmé bluntly calls him an idiot. She also falsely accuses them of hiding cigarettes.
  +
  +
[[File:Esme pull .png|thumb|250px|The Baudelaires and Quigley pulling Esmé up the mountain.]]
  +
  +
Esmé agrees to take the Baudelaires and Quigley to Count Olaf so they can talk. There, Violet claims she knows where the sugar bowl is and will only tell them if they let Sunny go. Esmé is persuaded, but Olaf is not and orders Sunny to be thrown off a cliff, prompting the white-faced women to become disgusted and leave. Esmé meets [[Carmelita Spats]] and decides to adopt her, much to Olaf's chagrin.
  +
  +
=== ''[[The Grim Grotto]]'' ===
 
Esmé wears a large octopus costume and slaps children with a giant noodle (or [[Tagliatelle Grande]]), forcing them to power Olaf's submarine. She continues to fuss over Carmelita and insists that Olaf give in to the girl's every whim, such as changing the name of the submarine from "The Olaf" (which Carmelita insists is a "cakesniffing name") to "The Carmelita."
 
Esmé wears a large octopus costume and slaps children with a giant noodle (or [[Tagliatelle Grande]]), forcing them to power Olaf's submarine. She continues to fuss over Carmelita and insists that Olaf give in to the girl's every whim, such as changing the name of the submarine from "The Olaf" (which Carmelita insists is a "cakesniffing name") to "The Carmelita."
   
=== ''The Penultimate Peril'' ===
+
=== ''[[The Penultimate Peril]]'' ===
Esmé appears at the [[Hotel Denouement]]'s rooftop sunbathing salon wearing nothing but strategically placed lettuce leaves and strange telescopic glasses. She is followed by reporter [[Geraldine Julienne]], who continues to hang on her every word. Later on, she states that she owns the sugar bowl. She also leaves Olaf's theater troupe and dumps Olaf himself. During the trial, she submits ruby-encrusted blank pages as evidence. When the Baudelaires set fire to the hotel, Esmé is inside. Whether or not she escapes is unknown; this is the last time she is seen in the series.
+
[[File:ThreeTrial.png|thumb|250px|Esmé during the trial of Olaf and the Baudelaires.]]
  +
  +
Esmé appears at the [[Hotel Denouement]]'s rooftop sunbathing salon wearing nothing but strategically placed lettuce leaves and [[Vision Furthering Device|strange telescopic glasses]]. She is followed by reporter [[Geraldine Julienne]], who continues to hang on her every word. Later on, she states that she owns the sugar bowl. She also leaves Olaf's theater troupe and dumps Olaf himself.
  +
  +
During the trial, she submits ruby-encrusted blank pages as evidence. When the Baudelaires set [[Hotel Denouement Fire|fire to the hotel]], Esmé is inside and on the second floor with Carmelita. Both of them claim that they will find their own way out. Whether or not she escapes is unknown; this is the last time she is seen in the series.
   
 
== TV series ==
 
== TV series ==
In the TV series, Esmé's role is largely the same in the books, except for a few divergences.
+
In the TV series, Esmé's role is largely the same in the books and she is arguably one of the most faithful book-to-show adapted characters. However, there are some minor divergences. For examples, she is blonde instead of brunette. She also speaks with an English accent, while the books do not mention any accent. This could mean that in the TV series canon Esmé is from England or that English accents are "in" as she is shown to have talent at accents as Officer Luciana. She also makes up ridiculous aliases.
   
In ''The Ersatz Elevator'', she shows impressive physical strength when she has to drag Jerome's unconscious body up to her penthouse and all 65 flights on stairs. She is remarkably strong and is seen carrying Jerome over her shoulder with ease.
+
[[File:EsmeCarriesJerome.gif|thumb|250px|Esmé carrying Jerome after he is drugged by Count Olaf's Troupe.]]
   
== Disguises ==
+
In ''The Ersatz Elevator'', she shows ridiculously impressive physical strength when she has to drag Jerome's unconscious body up to her penthouse and all 65 flights on stairs. She is also seen carrying Jerome over her shoulder with ease as if he were a toothpick. In ''The Hostile Hospital'', she knocked down file cabinets with ease as if they were dominoes to capture Violet Baudelaire, although she also did this in the book.
  +
  +
In ''The Vile Village'', the Baudelaires instantly see through her disguise as [[Officer Luciana]], which they are not able to in the books.
  +
  +
In ''The Carnivorous Carnival'', she has a jealousy complex towards [[Olivia Caliban]], perceiving her as trying to steal away her boyfriend.
  +
  +
[[File:Snicket_and_Esme.png|thumb|250px|Lemony and Esmé at ''La Forza del Destino''.]]
  +
  +
In ''The Penultimate Peril'', Esme is seen in a flashback during the play at ''[[La Forza del Destino]]''. She angrily calls Beatrice a thief for stealing her sugar bowl. Later, when Olaf and the Baudelaires try to warn her and Carmelita about the fire, the two don't believe them and instead decide to go to the laundry thinking the sugar bowl is there. This is the last time Esmé and Carmelita are seen in the series.
  +
  +
== Possible victims ==
  +
Esme may be perceived as a potential killer, albeit to a far lesser degree than Olaf. Esmé's possible murders are only heavily implied.
  +
  +
Her possible victims:
  +
* [[Beatrice Baudelaire]]
  +
* [[Bertrand Baudelaire]]
  +
* [[Mr. Quagmire]]
  +
* [[Mrs. Quagmire]]
  +
* [[Mr. Spats]]
  +
* [[Mrs. Spats]]
  +
* [[Olivia Caliban]] (although she accidentally fell into the lion pit in a scuffle with [[The Bald Man with the Long Nose]] in the books, while in the TV series, Olaf cut the rope supporting Olivia, it was Esmé's plan to have Olivia killed, in both versions. The lion show was Esmé's doing so Esmé is partially responsible.)
  +
  +
== Costumes and disguises ==
  +
{{Main|Esmé Squalor’s costumes and disguises}}
 
* '''''The Vile Village''''' - Esmé disguises herself as Officer Luciana
 
* '''''The Vile Village''''' - Esmé disguises herself as Officer Luciana
 
* '''''The Hostile Hospital''''' - Esmé disguises herself as a doctor
 
* '''''The Hostile Hospital''''' - Esmé disguises herself as a doctor
Line 98: Line 90:
   
 
== Etymology ==
 
== Etymology ==
Esmé Squalor's name is a reference to J.D. Salinger's short story "For Esmé, With Love and Squalor" from his collection ''Nine Stories''.
+
Esmé Squalor's name is a reference to J.D. Salinger's short story "[[Wikipedia:For Esmé—with Love and Squalor|For Esmé—with Love and Squalor]]" from his collection ''Nine Stories''.
   
 
Esmé is a French name that means "esteemed", a nod to her high self-esteem and image.
 
Esmé is a French name that means "esteemed", a nod to her high self-esteem and image.
Line 104: Line 96:
 
Gigi is a French name that means "trustworthy", which is ironic.
 
Gigi is a French name that means "trustworthy", which is ironic.
   
Geniveve means "woman of the race".
+
Geniveve means "woman of the race", which may refer to her being part of the "rat race" of being "in".
 
Squalor is not a name, but a noun that means "a state of being extremely dirty and unpleasant, especially as a result of poverty or neglect." Esmé Squalor is unpleasant, but the rest of the definition is ironic because instead of "dirty, poor, or neglected," Esmé is stylish, rich, and famous.
 
   
The initials of her name form "EGGS". It is unknown if this was intentional or not.
+
Squalor is not a name, but a noun that means "a state of being extremely dirty and unpleasant, especially as a result of poverty or neglect." Esmé is unpleasant, but the rest of the definition is ironic because instead of "dirty, poor, or neglected," Esmé is stylish, rich, and famous.
   
 
== Quotes ==
 
== Quotes ==
Line 114: Line 106:
 
* ''"Perhaps we should listen to me. I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. I live on Dark Avenue, and I am unbelievably wealthy."''
 
* ''"Perhaps we should listen to me. I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. I live on Dark Avenue, and I am unbelievably wealthy."''
 
* ''"Well, if you want to continue to live with me, you will call this man by his proper name, and this goes for you three children as well. I go to the trouble of buying you some smashing pinstripe suits, and you start accusing people of being in disguise! You and your siblings will call this man Gunther or you will make me very, very sorry I took you into my glamorous home."''
 
* ''"Well, if you want to continue to live with me, you will call this man by his proper name, and this goes for you three children as well. I go to the trouble of buying you some smashing pinstripe suits, and you start accusing people of being in disguise! You and your siblings will call this man Gunther or you will make me very, very sorry I took you into my glamorous home."''
* ''"I wouldn't say you were O.K. You're alive, but you're definitely not O.K. As soon as the auction is over and the Quagmires are on their way out of the city, Gunther will come and get you, and I can guarantee that you three orphans will never be O.K. again. What a wonderful and profitable day! My former acting teacher will finally get his hands on not one but two enormous fortunes!"''
+
* ''"I wouldn't say you were O.K. You're alive, but you're definitely not O.K. As soon as the auction is over and the Quagmires are on their way out of the city, Gunther will come and get you, and I can guarantee that you three orphans will never be O.K. again. What a wonderful and profitable day! My former acting teacher will finally get his hands on not one, but two enormous fortunes!"''
 
* ''"But I want to steal from you. I want to steal from you the way Beatrice stole from me."''
 
* ''"But I want to steal from you. I want to steal from you the way Beatrice stole from me."''
 
* ''"I'm going to flatten you! Olaf and I are going to have a romantic breakfast of Baudelaire pancakes! You're never going to get out of this room alive, you imbeciles!"''
 
* ''"I'm going to flatten you! Olaf and I are going to have a romantic breakfast of Baudelaire pancakes! You're never going to get out of this room alive, you imbeciles!"''
Line 131: Line 123:
 
=== TV series ===
 
=== TV series ===
 
* ''"Pinstripe suits are in! And those horrible clothes you're wearing are out."''
 
* ''"Pinstripe suits are in! And those horrible clothes you're wearing are out."''
* ''"Ahhhhhh! This sofa belonged to the King of Arizona, you don't recline on it."'' (when Jerome is almost injured/killed by a falling lamp)
+
* ''"AHHHHH! This sofa belonged to the King of Arizona, you don't recline on it."'' (when Jerome is almost injured/killed by a falling lamp)
 
* Jerome: ''"Shouldn't we give the proceeds to those who need it? Perhaps those starving people we're reading about in the paper."''<br />Esmé: ''"Starving people can't eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, they won't be poor anymore and we won't have anyone to feel sorry for."''
 
* Jerome: ''"Shouldn't we give the proceeds to those who need it? Perhaps those starving people we're reading about in the paper."''<br />Esmé: ''"Starving people can't eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, they won't be poor anymore and we won't have anyone to feel sorry for."''
* ''"Are we living in garbage?"'' (in Herring Houdini restaurant)
+
* ''"Are we living in garbage?"'' (before leaving Herring Houdini restaurant)
  +
* ''"Limousine, take us to a restaurant that is ACTUALLY in."''
  +
* ''"You're either in or you're out."''
 
* Mr. Poe: ''"Now that I see you eating in a stylish restaurant, I know you'll be properly cared for by the city's seventh most powerful financial adviser."''<br />Esmé: ''"SIXTH! SIXTH! Sixth most.... sixth."''
 
* Mr. Poe: ''"Now that I see you eating in a stylish restaurant, I know you'll be properly cared for by the city's seventh most powerful financial adviser."''<br />Esmé: ''"SIXTH! SIXTH! Sixth most.... sixth."''
 
* ''"Sleep is a natural part of life, like cosmetics or frivolous lawsuits."''
 
* ''"Sleep is a natural part of life, like cosmetics or frivolous lawsuits."''
 
* Klaus: ''"We need to tell [Jerome] something important."''<br />Esmé: ''"You can tell me. I'm important."''
 
* Klaus: ''"We need to tell [Jerome] something important."''<br />Esmé: ''"You can tell me. I'm important."''
  +
* ''"But I WANT to steal from you! I WANT TO STEAL FROM YOU THE WAY BEATRICE STOLE FROM ME!"''
 
* ''"I love a happy ending. It's like Wuthering Heights, which I never read."''
 
* ''"I love a happy ending. It's like Wuthering Heights, which I never read."''
  +
* Esmé: "''Ooh, there's a pole. Are you sure this isn't more of a club?''"<br />Count Olaf: "''That's a firepole, love.''" (upon entering the firehouse-turned-saloon in the Village) 
  +
* ''"If you're wondering about my enormous and terrifying knife, the answer is yes, it's incredibly sharp. One swipe and GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Butterflies in your stomach, Doctor Faustus? Don't worry, this is going to be fun."'' (threatening Klaus)
  +
* ''"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"'' (cheering crowd to pressure Klaus to cut off Violet's head)
  +
* ''"It's bad enough I've been dragged all over, and there are no in restaurants, no in boutiques. I'm forced to make my own dress out of a few scraps of tent. I will not be thrown over for a carny. Stay away from my boyfriend, or I don't know what I'll do."'' (threatening Olivia Caliban)
  +
* ''"Maybe Madame Lulu doesn't deserve to get thrown to the lions. People don't always get what they deserve in this world... and who knows that better than the two of you? After all, you're freaks."''
  +
* Esmé: ''"I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, and as you can see from my gown, I love freaks."''<br />Kevin: ''"That's so nice of you."''<br />Esmé: ''"Yes, it is."''
  +
* Esmé: ''"Come on, darling."''<br />Carmelita: ''"Is Countie not my Daddy anymore?"''<br />Esmé: ''"He's not mine either, pet."''
  +
* ''"The sugar bowl is mine!" ''(final line of the TV series before Hotel Denouement burns down)
   
 
== Trivia ==
 
== Trivia ==
 
[[File:EsmeArt.png|thumb|200px|Concept art of Esmé Squalor for the TV series.]]
 
[[File:EsmeArt.png|thumb|200px|Concept art of Esmé Squalor for the TV series.]]
* As a fashionable and psychopathic woman who is a greedy criminal, she is reminiscent of previous characters such as [[w:c:disney:Madame Medusa|Madame Medusa]] and [[w:c:disney:Cruella De Vil|Cruella De Vil]].
+
* As a fashionable and sociopathic woman who displays constant avaricious and criminal behavior, she is reminiscent of previous popular culture antagonists such as [[w:c:disney:Madame Medusa|Madame Medusa]] and [[w:c:disney:Cruella De Vil|Cruella De Vil]].
 
** One strong difference between Esmé and these characters is that Esmé is portrayed as being more normal and less "obviously evil" looking (as making characters "ugly" to denote them as "evil" is a common and arguably overused trope which can teach children bias). In ''The Carnivorous Carnival'', Esmé is depicting having a slim and normal figure. She is also portrayed by Lucy Punch in the TV series, who could be considered an attractive woman.
 
** One strong difference between Esmé and these characters is that Esmé is portrayed as being more normal and less "obviously evil" looking (as making characters "ugly" to denote them as "evil" is a common and arguably overused trope which can teach children bias). In ''The Carnivorous Carnival'', Esmé is depicting having a slim and normal figure. She is also portrayed by Lucy Punch in the TV series, who could be considered an attractive woman.
* Esmé Squalor has an unofficial fan club of sorts, likely due to being very popular and a very "in" member of the city. The only known member is [[Geraldine Julienne]]. In reality, it's really a team of fire-starting V.F.D agents. Their only known action is when they successfully took away the [[Mamba du Mal]] from the fire-fighting V.F.D. The fan club is mentioned in ''[[Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]''.
+
* Esmé Squalor has an unofficial [[Esmé Squalor Fan Club|fan club]] of sorts, likely due to being very popular and a very "in" member of the city. The only known members are [[Geraldine Julienne]] and [[Vice Principal Nero]]. In reality, it's really a team of fire-starting V.F.D agents. Their only known action is when they successfully took away the [[Mamba du Mal]] from the fire-fighting V.F.D. The fan club is mentioned in ''[[Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]''.
 
* Esmé being the city's "sixth" most important financial advisor may be related to the Number of the Beast symbolism, as she lives on 667 Dark Avenue. However, it could also simply be a reference to her appearing in the sixth book.
 
* Esmé being the city's "sixth" most important financial advisor may be related to the Number of the Beast symbolism, as she lives on 667 Dark Avenue. However, it could also simply be a reference to her appearing in the sixth book.
 
[[File:EsmeCover.png|thumb|thumb|200px|Esmé Squalor.]]
 
[[File:EsmeCover.png|thumb|thumb|200px|Esmé Squalor.]]
Line 149: Line 150:
 
* The UK cover has been criticized for spoiling the plot twist that Esmé is a villain and that she shoves the Baudelaires down the elevator.
 
* The UK cover has been criticized for spoiling the plot twist that Esmé is a villain and that she shoves the Baudelaires down the elevator.
 
* Esmé's character could be seen as a foil to Violet, and a warning to what kind of woman Violet may become if she inherited the Baudelaire fortune (materialistic and vain). In the book illustrations, she is seen wearing purple like Violet and has black/dark brown hair like Violet. Esmé also captures Violet specifically in ''The Hostile Hospital''. In ''The Penultimate Peril'', Violet is specifically ordered to go to the sunbathing salon where Esmé is.
 
* Esmé's character could be seen as a foil to Violet, and a warning to what kind of woman Violet may become if she inherited the Baudelaire fortune (materialistic and vain). In the book illustrations, she is seen wearing purple like Violet and has black/dark brown hair like Violet. Esmé also captures Violet specifically in ''The Hostile Hospital''. In ''The Penultimate Peril'', Violet is specifically ordered to go to the sunbathing salon where Esmé is.
* In the TV series, Esmé speaks with an English accent, while the books do not mention any accent. This could mean that in the TV series canon Esmé is from England or that English accents are "in".
+
* In the TV series, Esmé's fur dress is fake fur (at least from a behind-the-scenes perspective, it is likely intended to be real fur in the actual story)[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEHezmts9iM]
* In the TV series, Esmé's fur dress is fake fur.[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEHezmts9iM]
+
*The initials of her name form "EGGS". Many of her aliases form words:
  +
**Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold spells "SPAM", an Internet acronym for "stupid pointless annoying messages".
  +
**Cassandra Ursula Terrific Elliandra spells "CUTE", which is what Esmé aspires to be seen as, despite being quite ugly on the inside.
  +
*Esmé is known as Esmé Gigi Genevieve Sordidez in Spain and Esmé Gigi Geneieve Miseria in Latin America.
  +
*In the TV series, Esmé mentions being part of the Snow Scouts during her youth - in ''The Hostile Hospital: Part One, ''she tells Olaf's Troupe she was crowned False Spring Queen at 14 years of age. When her troupe danced around the pole atop Mount Fraught, as per tradition, she allegedly discovered her love of pole dancing.
  +
**There is no mention of Esmé's time as a Snow Scout, or False Spring Queen title, during either part of ''The Slippery Slope.''
  +
**Esmé's pole dancing interest is hinted at earlier in Season Two; in ''The Vile Village: Part One, ''she finds the firepole in the abandoned firehouse-turned-saloon, twirls around it, and asks Olaf if the place is more of a club.
  +
  +
==Family==
  +
{{FamilyTree/Start}}
  +
{{FamilyTree | JER |-| ESME | | MRS |v| MSS | | JER=[[Jerome Squalor]]|ESME=[[Esmé Squalor]]|MRS=[[Mr. Spats]] †|MSS=[[Mrs. Spats]] †}}
  +
{{FamilyTree |||||||:| ||||!| | }}
  +
{{FamilyTree |||||||L|~|~|CAR|||CAR=[[Carmelita Spats]]}}
  +
{{FamilyTree/End}}
   
 
== Appearances ==
 
== Appearances ==
  +
{{AppearanceBooks|TVV = yes|THH = yes|TCC = yes|TSS = yes|TGG = yes|TEE = debut|TPP = yes|TE = m|LSTUA = yes|TBL = m}}
  +
{{AppearanceAdaptations|TVV2 = yes|THH1 = yes|TEE1 = debut|THH2 = yes|TEE2 = yes|TCC1 = yes|TVV1 = yes|TCC2 = yes|TSS1 = yes|TGG2 = yes|TSS2 = yes|TPP1 = yes|TGG1 = yes|TPP2 = yes}}
 
* ''[[The Ersatz Elevator]]''
 
* ''[[The Ersatz Elevator]]''
 
* ''[[The Vile Village]]''
 
* ''[[The Vile Village]]''
Line 162: Line 165:
 
* ''[[The End]]'' (mentioned)
 
* ''[[The End]]'' (mentioned)
 
* [[A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)|''A Series of Unfortunate Events'' (TV series)]]
 
* [[A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV series)|''A Series of Unfortunate Events'' (TV series)]]
  +
** "[[The Miserable Mill: Part Two]]" (implied)
 
** "[[The Ersatz Elevator: Part One]]"
 
** "[[The Ersatz Elevator: Part One]]"
 
** "[[The Ersatz Elevator: Part Two]]"
 
** "[[The Ersatz Elevator: Part Two]]"
Line 170: Line 174:
 
** "[[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part One]]"
 
** "[[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part One]]"
 
** "[[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part Two]]"
 
** "[[The Carnivorous Carnival: Part Two]]"
  +
** "[[The Slippery Slope: Part One]]"
  +
** "[[The Slippery Slope: Part Two]]"
  +
** "[[The Grim Grotto: Part One]]"
  +
** "[[The Grim Grotto: Part Two]]"
  +
** "[[The Penultimate Peril: Part One]]"
  +
** "[[The Penultimate Peril: Part Two]]"
   
 
== Sources ==
 
== Sources ==
Line 186: Line 196:
 
EsmeFireDress.png|Esmé in ''The Slippery Slope''.
 
EsmeFireDress.png|Esmé in ''The Slippery Slope''.
 
CarmelitaEsmeRussian.png|Carmelita and Esmé in the Russian version.
 
CarmelitaEsmeRussian.png|Carmelita and Esmé in the Russian version.
  +
EsmeOctopus.png|Esmé, dressed as an octopus, and Carmelita in the Russian version of ''The Grim Grotto''.
 
Esmé Squalor russa.jpg|Esmé in the Russian version of ''The Penultimate Peril''.
 
Esmé Squalor russa.jpg|Esmé in the Russian version of ''The Penultimate Peril''.
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
   
=== TV series ===
+
=== Netflix series ===
  +
  +
====Concept Art====
 
<gallery>
 
<gallery>
Squalor.png|Possibly Esmé, a mysterious woman who set the Quagmire Mansion on fire.
+
Esmecloakconcept.jpg|"[[The Ersatz Elevator: Part One]]'
Garbage.gif|
+
Officerlucianaconcept.jpg|[[Officer Luciana]]
  +
Esmefireconcept.jpg|Robe.
  +
Esmeblackconcept.jpg|"[[The Slippery Slope]]"
  +
Esmefireconcept.jpg|Fire Costume.
  +
Momesmeconcept.jpg|Mom Costume.
  +
Captainesmeconcept.jpg|Captain.
  +
Esmeoctopusconcept.jpg|Octopus.
  +
Esmeoperaconcept.jpg|Opera Costume.
  +
</gallery>
  +
  +
====Season Two====
  +
<gallery>
  +
EsmeIcon.png|Esmé's Netflix icon.
  +
EsmeFlattered.png|Esmé flattered.
 
Esme_and_Gunther.jpg|Esmé in Cafe Salmonella.
 
Esme_and_Gunther.jpg|Esmé in Cafe Salmonella.
  +
EsmeMentionsBeatrice.png
  +
LaughingManiacally.png
 
GuntherAndEsme.png|Gunther and Esmé.
 
GuntherAndEsme.png|Gunther and Esmé.
OlafEsme.png|Gunther and Esmé.
 
FD2CD263-6127-478F-A861-FF874808415C.png|Esmé with the red herring.
 
 
EsmePaper.png|Esmé and The Daily Punctilio.
 
EsmePaper.png|Esmé and The Daily Punctilio.
E3215F91-A10B-4F83-9B36-EEDC7261F54C.png|Esmé and Gunther.
+
OlafEsme.png|Gunther and Esmé hosting the In Auction.
  +
Esme 111111.JPG
  +
FD2CD263-6127-478F-A861-FF874808415C.png|Esmé with the red herring.
  +
E3215F91-A10B-4F83-9B36-EEDC7261F54C.png|Esmé and Gunther leaving Veblen Hall.
  +
Esmé western.jpeg|Esmé in the Village of Fowl Devotees.
 
LucianaDupin.png|Officer Luciana and Detective Dupin.
 
LucianaDupin.png|Officer Luciana and Detective Dupin.
 
LucianaNetflix.png|Esmé in her Officer Luciana disguise.
 
LucianaNetflix.png|Esmé in her Officer Luciana disguise.
 
OlafHospitalGroup.png|Esmé with Olaf's associates in Heimlich Hospital.
 
OlafHospitalGroup.png|Esmé with Olaf's associates in Heimlich Hospital.
  +
121B9ED3-FE68-4B9B-A937-E841EB72F4CB.png|Esmé wearing a fur cut.
  +
ADDCB245-E852-47A6-94ED-8DE7A286BFD7.png|Esmé stalking Violet in the Library of Records.
 
Screen_Shot_2018-02-14_at_12.19.56_PM.png|Esmé throws one of her stiletto shoes at Violet.
 
Screen_Shot_2018-02-14_at_12.19.56_PM.png|Esmé throws one of her stiletto shoes at Violet.
LoveFreaks.png|Esmé's "I Freaks" outfit.
+
StealMyBoyfriend.png|Esmé accusing Madame Lulu of stealing Olaf.
Screen_Shot_2018-02-14_at_12.19.19_PM.png|Esmé in Caligari Carnival.
+
I Love freaks Esm.jpeg|Esmé's "I Freaks" outfit.
  +
Esmé carnival.jpeg|Esmé in Caligari Carnival.
  +
</gallery>
  +
  +
====Season Three====
  +
<gallery>
  +
44921207 2183918278514808 2031577659095384064 n.jpg|Esmé in her bed wear.
  +
Black fur.jpeg|Esmé in black winter gear.
  +
EsmeOlafHappy.png|Esmé and Olaf at Mount Fraught.
  +
EsmeOlafWinter.png|Esmé and Olaf in winter gear.
  +
Esme pull .png|Esmé being pulled up Mount Fraught.
  +
Esmeadoptscarmelita.png|Esmé adopts Carmelita.
  +
OlafEsmeCarmelita.png|Esmé with Olaf and Carmelita.
  +
EsmeOctopusOutfit.png|Esmé wearing an octopus costume.
  +
EsmeComfortsCarmelita.png|Esmé comforting Carmelita.
  +
InsideSub.png|The back of the octopus costume.
  +
FourVillains.png|Esmé with Carmelita, Olaf and Fernald.
  +
Nero and Esme.png|Esmé sunbathing with Nero.
  +
Esme breakup.jpeg|Esmé breaking up with Olaf.
  +
Esme chef 2.jpeg|Esmé making poisoned crow meat sausages.
  +
ThreeTrial.png|Esmé during the trial.
  +
Esme opera.jpeg|"THIEVES!"
  +
44787261 2183918305181472 2988286816894844928 n.jpg|Esmé being warned of the fire.
  +
EsmeCarmelitaPink.png|Esmé and Carmelita being warned of the fire.
  +
</gallery>
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====Gifs====
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<gallery>
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Garbage.gif|
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EsmeOnSleep.gif
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GuntherEsmeSmile.gif|Gunther and Esmé.
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EsmeLeaves.gif|Esmé leaves.
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
   
 
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Latest revision as of 03:29, February 17, 2020

Oh, yes! Aqueous martinis are in! I'm Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. Even though I am unbelievably wealthy, you may call me Esmé. I'll learn your names later. I'm very happy you're here, because orphans are in, and when all my friends hear that I have three real live orphans, they'll be sick with jealousy, won't they, Jerome?
 
— Esmé, meeting the Baudelaire orphans

Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor is the City's sixth most important financial advisor" although it is unclear how this was determined as importance is often subjective. She is a a very fashionable dresser who is known for her obsession with fashion and status of what is in. Sources like Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorised Biography suggest she may be a former V.F.D. member.

Esmé is introduced in The Ersatz Elevator. She adopts the Baudelaires orphans with her husband Jerome because she claims orphans are "in", showing them the lifestyles of the rich and famous. However, it is revealed during the book that Esmé is an ally of Count Olaf. She eventually becomes his girlfriend and joins his group of associates in their schemes of stealing the Baudelaire fortune.

In The Penultimate Peril, Olaf eventually decides to leave her behind due to her obscene obsession with fashion. Olaf says he is tired of having a girlfriend obsessed with fashion and that all she does is sit around relaxing while he runs around doing all the hard work. Even after Esmé defends herself, saying she was on guard, Olaf fires her anyway. Esmé refuses to be fired, saying she quits, and Olaf says she can leave by mutual agreement.

Personality Edit

Look at me! I'm beautiful, fashionable, and I smoke cigarettes!
 
— Esme Squalor, The Slippery Slope
Esmé is a very vapid, materialistic, and vain woman, obsessed with popularity, status, trends, and fads. She frequently buys "in" clothing, items, and furniture to decorate her apartment suite. Her number one priority in life, above all else, seems to be "in" and fashionable, no matter how insane being "in" means, valuing being stylish over practicality. For example, she smokes simply because cigarettes are in, even though she hates the taste and smell of them, and hates that they're unhealthy, so she prefers to use a long holder. She even buys aqueous martinis and parsley soda. She leads a life of crime because it is "in". Even though she is already "unbelievably wealthy", she is obsessed with collecting money because money is "in", and she frequently brags about how wealthy she is and how much money is in her bank account. It is likely that if money was "out", she would give her finances away just so she could be "in"

When she appears, she always appears in "fashionable" outfits, treating life as a fashion show and trying to find every opportunity to flaunt her outfits. While the Baudelaires are concerned about things like saving their friends while trying not to die in the process, Esmé is concerned about what to wear. In The Hostile Hospital, Lemony Snicket calls Esmé a slave to fashion, a phrase which here means "dressed in incredibly expensive, and often incredibly absurd, outfits."

She is very selfish and inconsiderate towards everyone such as Jerome, the Baudelaires, and sometimes even Count Olaf. She does not want to donate money to poor people because it means she will be less "in" and she wants people to feel sorry for. Esmé is a prolific pathological liar, slandering and accusing the Baudelaires of things they did not do such as murdering "Count Omar", and she is also shown to be incredibly manipulative, playing the victim to get people on her side. When the Bald Man paints a detailed portrait of her, she immediately criticizes it by saying he got her nose wrong.

Like Count Olaf, she could also be considered a sociopath and/or psychopath, due to her enjoyment when engaged in various crimes that often violently impact the lives of others. In The Hostile Hospital, she tries to stab Violet, and later, encourages Klaus Baudelaire to kill his sister by cutting off her head. In The Slippery Slope, Esmé is "astonished" when the White-Faced Women refuse to throw Sunny Baudelaire off a mountain as if the idea is not that repulsive for someone to do.
EsmeCoat

Esmé donning a fur coat made from the fur of a number of animals that had been killed in particularly unpleasant ways.

The only exception to her selfishness seems to be Carmelita Spats, whom she develops motherly tendencies for, freely buying her the same stylish things she herself is obsessed with. She spoils Carmelita as if she isn't already spoiled enough, enabling and encouraging Carmelita's greedy behavior. Parents with a narcissistic personality disorder, which Esmé likely has, often view their children as extensions of themselves, which may explain why Esmé spoils Carmelita.

Considering her overall cruel and unempathetic personality, it should be no surprise that Esmé does not care about the welfare of animals. Lemony Snicket notes, "This evening she was wearing a long coat made from the fur of a number of animals that had been killed in particularly unpleasant ways." She also jokes while trying to kill a crow, "The only bird I like is in a chicken sandwich," showing she does not care about any birds that do not taste good.

Biography Edit

Early Life Edit

Esmé starred in Al Funcoot's One Last Warning to Those Who Try to Stand in My Way. Lemony Snicket published a scathing review of the performance in The Daily Punctilio saying that Esmé "was simply dreadful", "cannot act", and "cannot sing." This resulted in Eleanora Poe firing Lemony and printing a public apology to Esmé. The Daily Punctilio also ran a special article about her entitled "Actress, Financial Advisor, and Unmarried Woman: How Does Esmé Do It?"

Geraldine Julienne, a reporter from The Daily Punctilio, is a huge fan of Esmé. After Esmé wrote to her, Geraldine wrote back to tell Esmé about Jerome Squalor. The information included that Jerome is unmarried, that he recently bought the penthouse at 667 Dark Avenue, and that "every morning he has breakfast down the street at the Veritable French Diner...between seven thirty and eight thirty A.M." where Esmé could "'accidentally' bump into him."

Later, Jacques Snicket received a wedding invitation from Jerome announcing his upcoming wedding to Esmé. Jacques sent an urgent letter to Jerome telling him "that under no circumstances should you marry that woman". However, Jerome never receives that letter. The pair married at the Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes, which Café Salmonella catered for. Esmé claims that Beatrice Baudelaire "stole" from her, leading her to want to steal from Beatrice's children.[1] 

The Ersatz Elevator  Edit

Esmé was first introduced in Book the Sixth as the city's sixth most important financial advisor. She is the wife of Jerome Squalor and the new guardian of the Baudelaire children. Esmé and Jerome live in a tall apartment penthouse at 667 Dark Avenue with many flights of stories.

Esmé's obsession with fashionable things (what is "in" and what is "out") reveals itself when she announces that she only took the Baudelaires into her home because orphans were now "in". Her kind husband wanted to take care of the children as soon as he heard of their troubles, but his wife firmly refused because orphans were "out".

She does not care about the Baudelaire children, doesn't care about learning their names, insults their "horrible" clothing for being "out", doesn't want to hear them complain that their friends (Duncan and Isadora Quagmire) were abducted by Count Olaf, and ignores them as she prepares for the upcoming "In Auction".

LaughingManiacally

Esmé betrays the Baudelaires by pushing them down an elevator shaft.

Her assistant auctioneer, Gunther, is recognized by the Baudelaires to be Count Olaf in yet another disguise. They attempt to warn both the Squalors of his true identity, but Jerome thinks they are merely suffering from xenophobia and doesn't believe them. Esmé, however, reacts more sinisterly and pushes the three orphans down an empty elevator shaft, revealing to them that Count Olaf is, in fact, her former acting teacher.

When the Baudelaires rush to Veblen Hall, Esmé is present and surprised to see the Baudelaires. When the Baudelaires manage to foil Olaf's plot, she leaves her husband to run off with Olaf. She and Olaf escape in a black truck with a big red herring with the Quagmires inside.

The Vile Village Edit

Officer Luciana Esmé

Esme, disguised as Officer Luciana, wielding a harpoon gun.

Likely to cover up her reputation, The Daily Punctilio writes an article claiming that Esmé was abducted by Olaf.

Esmé and Olaf, posing as Police Officer Luciana and Detective Dupin (it is implied that Olaf murdered the real police chief) respectively, follow the Baudelaires to the Village of Fowl Devotees. Olaf murders a man with a similar tattoo of an eye named Jacques Snicket and frames the Baudelaires with his girlfriend's assistance. The children attempt to escape in their new guardian Hector's Hot Air Mobile Home with their friends, the Quagmires, but Esmé shoots the rope ladder with a harpoon gun and manages to prevent the Baudelaires from leaving, though the Quagmires and Hector manage to escape. When Esmé accidentally injures a crow in the process, the Village turns on her and Olaf and they skip town on a motorcycle.

The Hostile Hospital Edit

Esmé Nurse

Esmé disguised as a Heimlich Hospital nurse.

Esmé poses as a doctor at Heimlich Hospital and chases the Baudelaires around the Library of Records. Since her stiletto heels are actually made with daggers as heels, her shoes keep sticking to the floor and she is unable to properly run after the three orphans. Thinking outside the box, she shoves over heavy cabinets of documents which fall over like dominoes, trapping and capturing Violet in the process. She, along with other members of Olaf's theatre troupe, arrange for Violet - now called Laura V. Bleediotie - to have the world's first ever "cranioectomy", a surgical procedure to remove Violet's head from her body. When Klaus and Sunny foil this plan, the hospital goes up in flames and Esmé escapes with Olaf.

The Carnivorous Carnival Edit

Esmé wishes to celebrate the fact that everyone thinks Count Olaf is dead and the Baudelaires are thought to be his murderers. In reality, Count Olaf murdered Jacques Snicket - making everyone think Snicket was really the Count - and framed the Baudelaires for the crime in The Vile Village. But before they can celebrate, Count Olaf wants to find out where the Baudelaires are first. Though they hope that one or two burned to a crisp in the hospital fire, Olaf admits all three are alive and well. If two Baudelaires had died, Olaf hopes Violet survived because she's the prettiest, the Hook-Handed Man hopes Sunny survived because he wants to stuff her in a birdcage again, and Esmé doesn't care who the survivor would be, she just wants to know where they are.

The troupe goes to Madame Lulu, a fortune teller who has accurately predicted the location of the Baudelaires every time Count Olaf lost track of them. Madame Lulu seems to have been romantically involved with Count Olaf and flirts with him enough to make Esmé very jealous.

When the Baudelaires use Olaf's and Esmé's clothing and makeup supplies to disguise themselves as carnival freaks, Esmé approves of their style. She laughs along with everyone else when Violet and Klaus - disguised as a two-headed person - struggle to eat an ear of corn, and wants Sunny - disguised as Chabo, a half-human, half-wolf baby - to stay away from her because the wild child may ruin her outfit.

LoveFreaks

Esme wearing an outfit that says "I love freaks" to persuade Hugo, Kevin and Colette.

Speaking of outfits, she dons a variety of items, including a sash reading "I Love Freaks", in order to seem accepting of the people employed in Caligari Carnival's freak show: Hugo, Kevin and Colette. She appears to care about their fates and attempts to convince them all to join Olaf's troupe, flattering most of the freaks into adoring her. The freaks are excited at the idea of joining Olaf's troupe, but the price they'd have to pay is throwing Madame Lulu into a pit of lions. Esmé is jealous of the fortune teller and is sick of Olaf buying her presents, so in order to quell the freaks' misgivings, she gives them gifts to help them appear more normal. The freaks are thrilled and agree to murder Madame Lulu.

Once Lulu is out of the picture, a happy Esmé and Olaf decide to burn down Caligari Carnival to remove all the evidence of their being there. Esmé travels with Olaf to the Mortmain Mountains in order to find the V.F.D. headquarters.

The Slippery Slope Edit

Esmé, Olaf, and the troupe escape to the Mortmain Mountains, where they force Sunny to do ridiculous chores and discuss their plan of action with the Man With a Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard. In her latest "in" escapade, Esmé smokes a Verdant Flammable Device, which she thinks are cigarettes and dons a dress that resembles a large fire, which she apparently stole from Beatrice.[2] 

Hoping to trade Esmé for Sunny, the Baudelaires set a trap for Esmé, but then in a moment of conscience, they prevent her from falling into it. When Quigley Quagmire expresses how he feels that throwing people into pits is not the greater good and that it's villainous treachery, Esmé bluntly calls him an idiot. She also falsely accuses them of hiding cigarettes.

Esme pull

The Baudelaires and Quigley pulling Esmé up the mountain.

Esmé agrees to take the Baudelaires and Quigley to Count Olaf so they can talk. There, Violet claims she knows where the sugar bowl is and will only tell them if they let Sunny go. Esmé is persuaded, but Olaf is not and orders Sunny to be thrown off a cliff, prompting the white-faced women to become disgusted and leave. Esmé meets Carmelita Spats and decides to adopt her, much to Olaf's chagrin.

The Grim Grotto Edit

Esmé wears a large octopus costume and slaps children with a giant noodle (or Tagliatelle Grande), forcing them to power Olaf's submarine. She continues to fuss over Carmelita and insists that Olaf give in to the girl's every whim, such as changing the name of the submarine from "The Olaf" (which Carmelita insists is a "cakesniffing name") to "The Carmelita."

The Penultimate Peril Edit

ThreeTrial

Esmé during the trial of Olaf and the Baudelaires.

Esmé appears at the Hotel Denouement's rooftop sunbathing salon wearing nothing but strategically placed lettuce leaves and strange telescopic glasses. She is followed by reporter Geraldine Julienne, who continues to hang on her every word. Later on, she states that she owns the sugar bowl. She also leaves Olaf's theater troupe and dumps Olaf himself.

During the trial, she submits ruby-encrusted blank pages as evidence. When the Baudelaires set fire to the hotel, Esmé is inside and on the second floor with Carmelita. Both of them claim that they will find their own way out. Whether or not she escapes is unknown; this is the last time she is seen in the series.

TV series Edit

In the TV series, Esmé's role is largely the same in the books and she is arguably one of the most faithful book-to-show adapted characters. However, there are some minor divergences. For examples, she is blonde instead of brunette. She also speaks with an English accent, while the books do not mention any accent. This could mean that in the TV series canon Esmé is from England or that English accents are "in" as she is shown to have talent at accents as Officer Luciana. She also makes up ridiculous aliases.

EsmeCarriesJerome

Esmé carrying Jerome after he is drugged by Count Olaf's Troupe.

In The Ersatz Elevator, she shows ridiculously impressive physical strength when she has to drag Jerome's unconscious body up to her penthouse and all 65 flights on stairs. She is also seen carrying Jerome over her shoulder with ease as if he were a toothpick. In The Hostile Hospital, she knocked down file cabinets with ease as if they were dominoes to capture Violet Baudelaire, although she also did this in the book.

In The Vile Village, the Baudelaires instantly see through her disguise as Officer Luciana, which they are not able to in the books.

In The Carnivorous Carnival, she has a jealousy complex towards Olivia Caliban, perceiving her as trying to steal away her boyfriend.

Snicket and Esme

Lemony and Esmé at La Forza del Destino.

In The Penultimate Peril, Esme is seen in a flashback during the play at La Forza del Destino. She angrily calls Beatrice a thief for stealing her sugar bowl. Later, when Olaf and the Baudelaires try to warn her and Carmelita about the fire, the two don't believe them and instead decide to go to the laundry thinking the sugar bowl is there. This is the last time Esmé and Carmelita are seen in the series.

Possible victims Edit

Esme may be perceived as a potential killer, albeit to a far lesser degree than Olaf. Esmé's possible murders are only heavily implied.

Her possible victims:

Costumes and disguises Edit

Main article: Esmé Squalor’s costumes and disguises
  • The Vile Village - Esmé disguises herself as Officer Luciana
  • The Hostile Hospital - Esmé disguises herself as a doctor

Behind the scenes Edit

She is portrayed by Lucy Punch in the TV series.

Etymology Edit

Esmé Squalor's name is a reference to J.D. Salinger's short story "For Esmé—with Love and Squalor" from his collection Nine Stories.

Esmé is a French name that means "esteemed", a nod to her high self-esteem and image.

Gigi is a French name that means "trustworthy", which is ironic.

Geniveve means "woman of the race", which may refer to her being part of the "rat race" of being "in".

Squalor is not a name, but a noun that means "a state of being extremely dirty and unpleasant, especially as a result of poverty or neglect." Esmé is unpleasant, but the rest of the definition is ironic because instead of "dirty, poor, or neglected," Esmé is stylish, rich, and famous.

Quotes Edit

Books Edit

  • "Jerome, children, listen to me--dark is out! Regular light is in! I'll go turn on all the lamps in the penthouse. Quickly, before anybody sees that this apartment is still dark!"
  • "Don't talk nonsense. If we give money to poor people, then they won't be poor anymore." (to Jerome)
  • "Perhaps we should listen to me. I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor. I live on Dark Avenue, and I am unbelievably wealthy."
  • "Well, if you want to continue to live with me, you will call this man by his proper name, and this goes for you three children as well. I go to the trouble of buying you some smashing pinstripe suits, and you start accusing people of being in disguise! You and your siblings will call this man Gunther or you will make me very, very sorry I took you into my glamorous home."
  • "I wouldn't say you were O.K. You're alive, but you're definitely not O.K. As soon as the auction is over and the Quagmires are on their way out of the city, Gunther will come and get you, and I can guarantee that you three orphans will never be O.K. again. What a wonderful and profitable day! My former acting teacher will finally get his hands on not one, but two enormous fortunes!"
  • "But I want to steal from you. I want to steal from you the way Beatrice stole from me."
  • "I'm going to flatten you! Olaf and I are going to have a romantic breakfast of Baudelaire pancakes! You're never going to get out of this room alive, you imbeciles!"
  • "Allow me to explain. I am a medical professional, just like Dr. Flacutono, Dr. O. Lucafont, Dr. Tocuna, and Nurse Flo. You can see that from our medical coats and surgical masks."
  • "Your fancy words won't save you now, you twerp." (to Klaus)
  • "I'm not going to dig a pit. I might break a nail."
  • "I'm Count Olaf's girlfriend, and my suit is in, not silly."
  • "There you go, babbling away. This is why I never want to have children. Except as servants, of course."
  • "Well, she's certainly not sleeping with me. It's not in to have a baby in your tent."
  • "I need a little while to choose what I'm going to wear. It's not in to burn down a headquarters without wearing a fashionable outfit."
  • "Being well-read won't help you in this world. Many years ago, I was supposed to waste my entire summer reading Anna Karenina, but I knew that silly book would never help me, so I threw it into the fireplace. Look at your precious headquarters, volunteers! It's as ruined as my book. And look at me! I'm beautiful, fashionable, and I smoke cigarettes! If you didn't spend all your time with your heads stuck in books, you'd have that precious baby back."
  • "That's a difficult decision. On one hand, it's been enjoyable having an infant servant. But it would be a lot of fun to smash Klaus's glasses and watch him bump into things."
  • "Fiona isn't a very in name. I think I'll call her Triangle Eyes. Are you really willing to join us, Triangle Eyes?"
  • "You can't fire me! I quit!" (to Count Olaf)

TV series Edit

  • "Pinstripe suits are in! And those horrible clothes you're wearing are out."
  • "AHHHHH! This sofa belonged to the King of Arizona, you don't recline on it." (when Jerome is almost injured/killed by a falling lamp)
  • Jerome: "Shouldn't we give the proceeds to those who need it? Perhaps those starving people we're reading about in the paper."
    Esmé: "Starving people can't eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, they won't be poor anymore and we won't have anyone to feel sorry for."
  • "Are we living in garbage?" (before leaving Herring Houdini restaurant)
  • "Limousine, take us to a restaurant that is ACTUALLY in."
  • "You're either in or you're out."
  • Mr. Poe: "Now that I see you eating in a stylish restaurant, I know you'll be properly cared for by the city's seventh most powerful financial adviser."
    Esmé: "SIXTH! SIXTH! Sixth most.... sixth."
  • "Sleep is a natural part of life, like cosmetics or frivolous lawsuits."
  • Klaus: "We need to tell [Jerome] something important."
    Esmé: "You can tell me. I'm important."
  • "But I WANT to steal from you! I WANT TO STEAL FROM YOU THE WAY BEATRICE STOLE FROM ME!"
  • "I love a happy ending. It's like Wuthering Heights, which I never read."
  • Esmé: "Ooh, there's a pole. Are you sure this isn't more of a club?"
    Count Olaf: "That's a firepole, love." (upon entering the firehouse-turned-saloon in the Village) 
  • "If you're wondering about my enormous and terrifying knife, the answer is yes, it's incredibly sharp. One swipe and GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Butterflies in your stomach, Doctor Faustus? Don't worry, this is going to be fun." (threatening Klaus)
  • "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" (cheering crowd to pressure Klaus to cut off Violet's head)
  • "It's bad enough I've been dragged all over, and there are no in restaurants, no in boutiques. I'm forced to make my own dress out of a few scraps of tent. I will not be thrown over for a carny. Stay away from my boyfriend, or I don't know what I'll do." (threatening Olivia Caliban)
  • "Maybe Madame Lulu doesn't deserve to get thrown to the lions. People don't always get what they deserve in this world... and who knows that better than the two of you? After all, you're freaks."
  • Esmé: "I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, and as you can see from my gown, I love freaks."
    Kevin: "That's so nice of you."
    Esmé: "Yes, it is."
  • Esmé: "Come on, darling."
    Carmelita: "Is Countie not my Daddy anymore?"
    Esmé: "He's not mine either, pet."
  • "The sugar bowl is mine!" (final line of the TV series before Hotel Denouement burns down)

Trivia Edit

EsmeArt

Concept art of Esmé Squalor for the TV series.

  • As a fashionable and sociopathic woman who displays constant avaricious and criminal behavior, she is reminiscent of previous popular culture antagonists such as Madame Medusa and Cruella De Vil.
    • One strong difference between Esmé and these characters is that Esmé is portrayed as being more normal and less "obviously evil" looking (as making characters "ugly" to denote them as "evil" is a common and arguably overused trope which can teach children bias). In The Carnivorous Carnival, Esmé is depicting having a slim and normal figure. She is also portrayed by Lucy Punch in the TV series, who could be considered an attractive woman.
  • Esmé Squalor has an unofficial fan club of sorts, likely due to being very popular and a very "in" member of the city. The only known members are Geraldine Julienne and Vice Principal Nero. In reality, it's really a team of fire-starting V.F.D agents. Their only known action is when they successfully took away the Mamba du Mal from the fire-fighting V.F.D. The fan club is mentioned in Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography.
  • Esmé being the city's "sixth" most important financial advisor may be related to the Number of the Beast symbolism, as she lives on 667 Dark Avenue. However, it could also simply be a reference to her appearing in the sixth book.
EsmeCover

Esmé Squalor.

  • In the books, her entire face is never depicted in detail (excluding the Russian version), forcing readers to imagine her face. Even when her face is shown, her eyes are covered. This makes her similar to Sara Bellum from The Powerpuff Girls.
  • The UK cover has been criticized for spoiling the plot twist that Esmé is a villain and that she shoves the Baudelaires down the elevator.
  • Esmé's character could be seen as a foil to Violet, and a warning to what kind of woman Violet may become if she inherited the Baudelaire fortune (materialistic and vain). In the book illustrations, she is seen wearing purple like Violet and has black/dark brown hair like Violet. Esmé also captures Violet specifically in The Hostile Hospital. In The Penultimate Peril, Violet is specifically ordered to go to the sunbathing salon where Esmé is.
  • In the TV series, Esmé's fur dress is fake fur (at least from a behind-the-scenes perspective, it is likely intended to be real fur in the actual story)[1]
  • The initials of her name form "EGGS". Many of her aliases form words:
    • Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold spells "SPAM", an Internet acronym for "stupid pointless annoying messages".
    • Cassandra Ursula Terrific Elliandra spells "CUTE", which is what Esmé aspires to be seen as, despite being quite ugly on the inside.
  • Esmé is known as Esmé Gigi Genevieve Sordidez in Spain and Esmé Gigi Geneieve Miseria in Latin America.
  • In the TV series, Esmé mentions being part of the Snow Scouts during her youth - in The Hostile Hospital: Part One, she tells Olaf's Troupe she was crowned False Spring Queen at 14 years of age. When her troupe danced around the pole atop Mount Fraught, as per tradition, she allegedly discovered her love of pole dancing.
    • There is no mention of Esmé's time as a Snow Scout, or False Spring Queen title, during either part of The Slippery Slope.
    • Esmé's pole dancing interest is hinted at earlier in Season Two; in The Vile Village: Part One, she finds the firepole in the abandoned firehouse-turned-saloon, twirls around it, and asks Olaf if the place is more of a club.

FamilyEdit

Jerome Squalor
 
Esmé Squalor
 
Mr. Spats
 
Mrs. Spats
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Carmelita Spats
 
 
 


Appearances Edit



Sources Edit

  1. PROSE: The Ersatz Elevator
  2. The initial "B" is on the dress.

Gallery Edit

Books Edit

Netflix series Edit

Concept ArtEdit

Season TwoEdit

Season ThreeEdit

GifsEdit


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