Lemony Snicket Wiki
Lemony Snicket Wiki

L'Heimlich! I always wanted orphans. This morning, I thought I was just a lonely, single bartender, and now I have a fortune of childrens, or whatever the word is for a large number of 'em.
— The Lonely Old Bartender to Arthur Poe, "The Vile Village: Part One"

The Lonely Old Bartender is a disguise used by Count Olaf in the first half of the TV series adaptation of The Vile Village.


The Vile Village: Part One

While Count Olaf and his troupe use the old, closed saloon as a hideout, Mr. Poe comes in. Count Olaf puts on a fake beard and hat and glasses which he finds. When Mr. Poe asks for a sasparilla, Count Olaf gives him one (and therefore breaks one of the many rules of VFD) and asks questions, like, if he brought children. Mr. Poe tells him that the Baudelaires are now in the care of the Village of Fowl Devotees. The bartender (Count Olaf) tells him that he always wanted orphans and starts fake crying. He tells him that he thought he was just a lonely single bartender. He stops crying and asks for the money, which Poe gives.

Later, when he is found by Jacques Snicket and Olivia Caliban, he attempts to put the disguise back on, but they capture him.

He speaks with a very western cowboy accent. Although it isn’t really a proper disguise, it can still be classed as one, as he uses it to trick Mr. Poe.