|“||At its peak, I could see a faint, pulsing light through the afternoon gray. It took me a minute to realize that it was a lighthouse, which stood on a cliff that overlooked what had been waves and water and was now just a vast, eerie landscape.||”|
The Mallahan Lighthouse is a large towering structure perched on a cliff in Stain'd-by-the-Sea, above where the sea used to be. The tower leans slightly to one side and is in desperate need of a paint job. The light of the lighthouse is still active, however, as there are ships for the light to guide to shore.
|“||Once it had towered over a cliff overlooking the churning waters of the sea, but since the sea had been drained away there were only a few remaining inkwells and the great, spooky expanse of the Clusterous Forest under the lighthouse’s watch.||”|
— Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?
The lighthouse stands on a cliff overlooking where the sea used to be. The outside needs a paint job, and seems to lean ever so slightly to one side. It is connected to the Sallis Mansion by a hawser. The hawser cable used to function as a drying method for the printed pieces of paper.
The foyer is a small room with a large, winding staircase that leads to the other rooms of the lighthouse. The kitchen is beside it; the small room is constantly filled with typewriter pages and dirty dishes and contains a wobbly wooden table with a chipped leg and wobbly chairs with one lone window. There is also a small room full of bookshelves and a floor lamp in the center. Two chairs surround this; one full of typewriter pages, belonging to Moxie Mallahan, the other of thick, depressing books belonging to her father, and there are marks on the floor where another chair once was, belonging to her mother.
At the top of the winding staircase, there is a large room which functioned as a newsroom, with high ceilings and large piles of items. There are still large printing presses and other newspaper apparatuses, which are clearly not in use, as well as abandoned workstations and discarded papers. Photographs were once developed in the basement, and stories were typed in the lantern room. The newsroom and articles are currently in a state of disorganization.
Because the Bombinating Beast is the mascot of the newspaper, beastly paraphernalia can be found within the lighthouse, including a particular statue, on a table covered by a sheet. As well as this statue, the contents of the house, like clocks, forks, and floor lamps are all modeled after the beast.
The lighthouse seemed to belong to the Mallahan Family for quite some time, and the family used it as a headquarters for The Stain'd Lighthouse, the official newspaper of the town. It was connected by hawser to the Sallis Mansion, where several activities could be held. Following the town's economic collapse, the lighthouse was abandoned by all but the family, who lived there.
After Ms. Mallahan abandoned her family and town, the lighthouse was home only to Mr. Mallahan and his daughter, Moxie, who struggled to keep the newspaper business alive. Kellar Haines moved in with the family after running away from the Inhumane Society.