Lemony Snicket Wiki
Lemony Snicket Wiki

Me: The Completely Authorized Autobiography of the Prettiest, Smartest, Most Darling Girl in the Whole Wide World is an in-universe book written by Carmelita Spats.


Not much is known about the content of the book. 

On page 793, Carmelita details her encounter with a librarian at her school, Prufrock Preparatory School:

The librarian at my school, where I was the smartest person in the whole wide world, was an old man with neatly trimmed gray hair and a moustache that turned up at the ends. He was dressed as if everything he wore – a flowered shirt, striped tie, tweed coat, and plaid slacks – had come from different stores or from a rummage sale, except that the crease in his trousers was sharp and his shoes were shined.

One day, the old man, whose back was very straight, saluted me as if I were a soldier and said, "Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?"

"Go away, creep," I replied. "Your […]

Known Facts

  • There are at least 793 pages.[1]


  • The librarian encountered by Carmelita was an agent of VFD, and he gave her a code that meant he had a message for her.[1]