- Mr. Quagmire: There are fires all around us, literally and figuratively.
- Mrs. Quagmire: Then it's time we mount a vigorous fire defense.
Little is known about Mr. Quagmire. He married Mrs. Quagmire, and was the father of Duncan, Isadora, and Quigley Quagmire. The couple owned the famous Quagmire Sapphires, which were left to their children after their death. He and his wife perished in a fire at their mansion.
Netflix Series Divergent Canon
While on a Volunteer Mission, the Quagmire couple were captured by the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard and detained; their primary concern is the state of their children, whom they believe to be in danger without them.
While imprisoned, they find out about the death of the Baudelaire parents, and Mr. Quagmire finds a tunnel entrance, while his wife builds a grappling hook and a molotov cocktail.
After "a narrow escape full of incredible twists and astonishing acrobatics", in which Mr. Quagmire injured his leg, the couple head out of the tunnel. He guesses that they are south of Winnipeg; they find themselves in Peru. They attempt to contact Monty Montgomery, and as Mrs. Quagmire argues with the operator that his real name is "Montgomery Montgomery", they realize that the people surrounding them in the bar are about to attack.
They manage to escape and find a message and a plane. The message reads "You can't lock up the barn after the horses are gone," which alarms them, and the plane has bullet holes in the wings. The two of them manage to fix the plane, and upon flying it over Lake Lachrymose, they spot the Baudelaire orphans on their boat, though they don't recognize them; they are assured that a nearby ferry will save them, before they realize they're going to crash.
Mr. and Mrs. Quagmire have to pass through a forest filled with enemies, during which Mrs. Quagmire says that they have to tell their children everything about their organization upon returning. They reach a van and request assistance; upon realizing the driver is an enemy, Mrs. Quagmire tackles him, and the two of them steal the truck.
They return home, and when Mrs. Quagmire mentions that he'll have to explain his injured leg, Mr. Quagmire tells her that he'll claim he hurt himself ballroom dancing. She replies, "They'll believe that, they've seen you dance." The two of them are relieved to find their triplets safe.
Later that night, the two of them receive a copy of The Daily Punctilio that claims the Baudelaire fire is an accident. They put their suspicious children to bed, for a "big day tomorrow" (potentially recruitment). Mr. Quagmire lingers behind and takes his spyglass from a desk drawer.
|Mr. Quagmire †||Mrs. Quagmire †|
|Duncan Quagmire||Isadora Quagmire||Quigley Quagmire|
- In the reprise of That's Not How The Story Goes in The Penultimate Peril: Part 2, a copy of the Daily Punctilio on the accident at Lucky Smells Lumbermill is labelled as "LOCAL CITY NEWS AUGUST 23 ACCIDENT AT LUCKY SMELL" with the rest of the words cut off. This confirms that the accident that killed Georgina Orwell occurred on that date. When the Quagmire Mansion is burnt down it is dark, meaning it is either the late evening of the 23rd or early morning of the 24th. However, in Season 2, a newspaper reporting that "ORPHANS HAPPY, GETTING SPLENDID EDUCATION" is dated as March, implying the Quagmire parents died in March or it took nearly seven months for the Quagmires to be sent to Prufrock Prep at the same time as the Baudelaires.
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