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There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork.
 
— Mr. Remora, The Austere Academy

Mr. Remora was the English/Language Arts teacher at Prufrock Preparatory School in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Biography

Early Life

Remora began teaching at Prufrock Preparatory School at least forty-seven years before The Austere Academy.

He taught a class that passed for English in Room One. His method of teaching involved telling short stories (often about himself) and quizzing the students on minute details. In his class were Carmelita Spats and Duncan Quagmire, the latter of whom managed to take notes on his stories.

One of his jobs appears to be counting which students are absent from Vice Principal Nero's violin recitals, along with his coworker, Mrs. Bass.

He has a habit of constantly eating bananas in a rather messy way, dropping the banana peels on the floor.[2]

The Austere Academy

You're the boss, Nero. If you say they're expelled, they're expelled.
 
— Mr. Remora, The Austere Academy
Upon arriving at Prufrock, Violet Baudelaire is enrolled in Remora's class, which she hates so much that "she'd almost rather stay in the Orphans Shack all morning and eat her meals with her hands tied behind her back[... than] learn from such a wretched man."

During one of Nero's recitals, the Baudelaires notice that Remora and Bass are giggling and sharing a banana in the back row of the auditorium. Neither of them seem aware of the new gym teacher, Coach Genghis.

Mr. Remora

Mr. Remora.

After Violet begins S.O.R.E. in gym class, he eventually reports to Nero that she has failed a test. Nero instructs Remora and Bass to make comprehensive exams to give to Violet and her brother, Klaus Baudelaire, on everything they have learned since they've arrived at the school, in order to determine whether or not they will be expelled.

The next morning, the teachers and Nero arrive at the Orphans Shack to quiz the students. Remora quizzes Violet, but finds that she is able to correctly answer all of his questions. After eating eight bananas, Remora tells Nero that Violet is a very fine student who has obviously studied hard. Nero is upset, as he wanted to expel someone, and Remora suggests Carmelita, as she never studies and "is an awful person besides." Nero refuses, as she is Genghis's special messenger, and Remora requests information on the gym teacher, who soon arrives.

Genghis reveals that the Baudelaires skipped gym class to study, which Nero takes as cause to flunk them and their sister. Remora argues slightly, as he points out to the Vice Principal that he is incorrect at saying Sunny Baudelaire is a terrible secretary (she did quite a bit of stapling for him), and he also argues that athletics should not get in the way of schoolwork. However, once Nero asserts his authority as Vice Principal, Remora concedes and allows him to expel them.

When the Baudelaires race after a fleeing Coach Genghis, the teachers and Arthur Poe catch up to them in time to see he has kidnapped the Quagmire triplets and that he is secretly Count Olaf in disguise.

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

After choking on a banana, Remora decided to retire from Prufrock. Ms. K replaced him as the English teacher, and she changed his curriculum from telling short stories to giving coded books to the children, causing her to be fired and kidnap two orphaned children.

It is unknown if Remora took his job back following Ms. K's departure.

The Penultimate Peril

Hal: I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.
Mr. Remora: It won't be a sad occasion if you feed us.
—Chapter Six
Remora receives an invitation for a party with an all-you-can-eat banana buffet. He goes with Nero and Bass to the Hotel Denouement for the event, though both of them believe the party will feature different things, and Bass is on the run after robbing from Mulctuary Money Management.

As a concierge arrives- Sunny Baudelaire in disguise- Remora and Bass beg Nero to cease violin practice for a little bit in order to have a lunch break. When Nero finally agrees, Remora asks Bass if she should bring her loot with her, unintentionally pointing out the stolen money to Sunny. The group heads to an Indian restaurant in Room 954, where Hal attempts (and fails) to give them VFD codes. Remora asks for forty-eight orders of fried bananas. While waiting for their meals, Nero mentions Coach Genghis, who he remembers as being a nice man, and Remora points out that he was a notorious villain in disguise. He also attempts to bring up Bass's status as a fugitive, but Nero interrupts him and asks Sunny to bring them napkins. All that is mentioned of the rest of the meal is that the staff had a whispered conversation.

When an argument breaks out at night over whether or not the Baudelaire children are murderers, Remora mentions that they were pretty good students.

At the trial for Olaf and the Baudelaires the next day, Remora submits grade books as evidence. When chaos breaks out over whether or not the children are to be trusted, Remora shouts that they are good students.

Remora is last seen wandering around the seventh story with Nero, wondering something about fried bananas. It is unknown whether he survived the subsequent Hotel Denouement Fire.

Netflix Series Divergent Canon

Classremora

Remora's class.

Remora's role in The Austere Academy is relatively the same as in the books, as he tells boring short stories in his class. He and Mrs. Bass also unknowingly intercept the Quagmires' attempts to warn the Baudelaires that Count Olaf is on the property. He later assists Vice-Principal Nero and Mrs. Bass in quizzing the Baudelaires in front of the school.[3][4]

He and Mrs. Bass later go to Caligari Carnival to watch someone get devoured by lions. He was mistaken as a freak, to which Mr. Remora quotes that he has a skin condition.[5]

Mr. Remora's role in "The Penultimate Peril: Part One" and "The Penultimate Peril: Part Two" is omitted.

He is portrayed by Malcolm Stewart.

Quotes

The Austere Academy

One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk. When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end.
 
— Chapter Four
One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end.
 
— Chapter Four
Mr. Remora: In my story about the donkey, how many miles did the donkey run?
Violet Baudelaire: Six.
Vice Principal Nero: "Six." That can't be correct, can it, Mr. Remora?
Mr. Remora: Um, yes, actually.
—Chapter Twelve
Mr. Remora: In my story about the mushroom, what was the name of the chef?
Violet Baudelaire: Maurice.
Vice Principal Nero, mimicking: "Maurice."
Mr. Remora: Correct.
—Chapter Twelve
Mr. Remora: In my story about the dump truck, what color were the rocks it carried?
Violet Baudelaire: Gray and brown.
Vice Principal Nero: "Gray and brown."
Mr. Remora: Correct.
—Chapter Twelve
Nero, there's no use continuing these exams. Violet is a very fine student, and has obviously studied very hard.
 
— Chapter Twelve
Mr. Remora: Oh, let them stay, Nero. Why don't you expel that Carmelita Spats? She never studies, and she's an awful person besides.
Mrs. Bass: Oh yes. Let's give her an extra-challenging examination.
—Chapter Twelve

The Penultimate Peril

Please, boss. You said we could stop for a lunch break.
 
— Chapter Six
How do you know there will be music critics at the party? My invitation just said there'd be an all-you-can-eat banana buffet.
 
— Chapter Six
Vice Principal Nero: That foreigner's head reminds me of that nice man Coach Genghis.
Mr. Remora: Nice man? If I remember correctly, he was a notorious villain in disguise.
—Chapter Six
They were pretty good students, if I remember correctly.
 
— Chapter Ten
I submit these grade books!
 
— Chapter Eleven
They're good students!
 
— Chapter Eleven

Physical Appearance

Remora is described as having a thick, dark mustache, "as if somebody had chopped off a gorilla's thumb and stuck it above [his] lip."[2] When he is seen at night, it is said he has a nightcap shaped like a banana.[6]

Trivia

  • When listing people who do not care about the Baudelaires, and thus are basically associates of his, Olaf names Remora.[6]
  • In the Netflix series, Remora's surname can be seen in a V.F.D. tunnel.[7] While this could imply he was part of VFD, he also seems unaware of any and all VFD codes, making the reason for his name's appearance unclear.
  • Mr. Remora, Mrs. Bass and Ms. Tench are named after fish as a pun; a group of fish is called a school.

Appearances



Gallery

Sources

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