Lemony Snicket Wiki
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Mr. Quagmire: There are fires all around us, literally and figuratively.
Mrs. Quagmire: Then it's time we mount a vigorous fire defense.
—"The Miserable Mill: Part Two"

Mrs. Quagmire is the wife to Mr. Quagmire and mother to her triplets; Duncan, Isadora, and Quigley.


At some point, she married her husband and gave birth to triplets: Duncan, Isadora and Quigley Quagmire. The couple were the owners of the famous Quagmire Sapphires.[2]

While her exact relation to VFD is unknown, Isadora and Quigley both had tutors that may have been training them for volunteering, and she was aware of a secret passage underneath their house.

Upon discovering her house was set on fire, she ran and fetched Quigley; they first tried to go out the front door, to find the hall filled with smoke, so she took him back to the library and sent him into a secret door. She told him to wait while she fetched his siblings, but she never returned.[3]

She and her husband perished in the fire.[2]

Netflix Series Divergent Canon

Apparently, her honeymoon with her husband involved a dangerous, bullet-ridden plane ride and enemies with air cannons.[4] She also had an antagonistic relationship with Count Olaf, referring to him as a "miscreant." He refers to her as "always reading Italian poetry and activating trap doors."[5]

While on a Volunteer Mission, the Quagmire couple were captured by the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard[6] and detained; their primary concern is the state of their children, whom they believe to be in danger without them.

While imprisoned, they find out about the death of the Baudelaire parents, and Mrs. Quagmire reads about the The Marvelous Marriage play. She builds a grappling hook and a molotov cocktail in order to escape, while her husband finds the tunnel entrance.[7]

After "a narrow escape full of incredible twists and astonishing acrobatics", the couple head out of the tunnel and find themselves in Peru.[8] They attempt to contact Monty Montgomery, and as Mrs. Quagmire argues with the operator that his real name is "Montgomery Montgomery", they realize that the people surrounding them in the bar are about to attack.[9]

They manage to escape and find a message and a plane. The message reads "You can't lock up the barn after the horses are gone," which alarms them, and the plane has bullet holes in the wings.[4] The two of them manage to fix the plane, and upon flying it over Lake Lachrymose, they spot the Baudelaire orphans on their boat, though they don't recognize them; they are assured that a nearby ferry will save them, before they realize they're going to crash.[10]

"Partners?" "Always, darling."

Mrs. and Mr. Quagmire have to pass through a forest filled with enemies, during which Mrs. Quagmire says that they have to tell their children everything about their organization upon returning. They reach a van and request assistance; upon realizing the driver is an enemy, Mrs. Quagmire tackles him, and the two of them steal the truck.

They return home, and when Mrs. Quagmire mentions that he'll have to explain his injured leg, Mr. Quagmire tells her that he'll claim he hurt himself ballroom dancing. She replies, "They'll believe that, they've seen you dance." The two of them are relieved to find their triplets safe.[11]

Later that night, the two of them receive a copy of The Daily Punctilio that claims the Baudelaire fire is an accident. They put their suspicious children to bed, for a "big day tomorrow" (potentially recruitment).[12]

Quigley cannot sleep and instead has cider with his mother. When they realize the house is on fire, she puts him in the tunnel and leaves to fetch his family.[13] Mrs. Quagmire and her husband perish, leaving behind half a spyglass that is found by Isadora.[12][5]


  • In the Netflix version of the series, in the Quagmire Mansion burning scene, a copy of the same photograph as the one found by Violet Baudelaire is visible to the left of the Quagmire family photograph.
  • Like Violet, she is able to create a molotov cocktail and a grappling hook.
  • It is possible that she may be related to the Denouement family because of Dewey Denouement's comment that triplets run in his family.


Mr. Quagmire
Mrs. Quagmire
Duncan Quagmire
Isadora Quagmire
Quigley Quagmire




  1. In the reprise of That's Not How The Story Goes in The Penultimate Peril: Part 2, a copy of the Daily Punctilio on the accident at Lucky Smells Lumbermill is labelled as "LOCAL CITY NEWS AUGUST 23 ACCIDENT AT LUCKY SMELL" with the rest of the words cut off. This confirms that the accident that killed Georgina Orwell occurred on that date. When the Quagmire Mansion is burnt down it is dark, meaning it is either the late evening of the 23rd or early morning of the 24th. However, in Season 2, a newspaper reporting that "ORPHANS HAPPY, GETTING SPLENDID EDUCATION" is dated as March, implying the Quagmire parents died in March or it took nearly seven months for the Quagmires to be sent to Prufrock Prep at the same time as the Baudelaires.
  2. 2.0 2.1 PROSE: The Austere Academy
  3. PROSE: The Slippery Slope
  4. 4.0 4.1 TV: The Wide Window: Part One
  5. 5.0 5.1 TV: The Austere Academy: Part One
  6. TV: The Slippery Slope: Part One
  7. TV: The Bad Beginning: Part Two
  8. TV: The Reptile Room: Part One
  9. TV: The Reptile Room: Part Two
  10. TV: The Wide Window: Part Two
  11. TV: The Miserable Mill: Part One
  12. 12.0 12.1 TV: The Miserable Mill: Part Two
  13. TV: The Slippery Slope: Part Two