Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren't as Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, Creatures from the Sky, Parents Who Disappear in Peru, a Man Named Lars Farf, and One Other Story We Couldn't Quite Finish, So Maybe You Could Help Us Out, commonly shortened to Noisy Outlaws, was a book published in 2005 in McSweeney's Books. It includes short stories by Nick Hornby, Neil Gaiman, Jon Scieszka, and others. Lemony Snicket wrote the introduction for the book, as well as, a half-page unfinished short story.


The series starts with "Small Country", a short story about a "six or seven year old" reluctant football player who has just discovered how small his country really is.

"Lars Farf, excessively fearful father and husband" deals with the paranoia that cripples a father who cares a bit too much about the safety of his family.

"Monster" is the horror story in the ensemble that asks some deep questions in the guise of a camp fire tale.

"The contests at Cowlick" is an old fashioned western that has more in common with Aesop's fables than the gunslingers of past.

"Each sold separately" is a short story that is written in the form of a conversation between a boy and a girl entirely in the form of catchphrases from the advertising world.

In "Seymour's last wish", little Seymour gets a chance to fulfill his wishes. He also has an ogre for a mother, who loves kittens more than she loves him.

"Grimble" is a long story about a kid whose parents leave for Peru without notifying him first or telling him why. All they leave is notes, through which Grimble has to survive till they return.

"Spoony-E and Spandy E" is an illustrated comic book featuring two "War buddies" united against the imminent attack of the "purple horde".

"Sunbird" is about a club (the Epicureans) who intend to eat all the edible and inedible dishes in the world, including imaginary animals, in order to document all the tastes.

"The Aces phone" is about a lost phone found in a park by a boy.

"The Sixth Borough" is the final story of the collection, about the sixth borough of New York, (there are only five) and what happened to it.

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