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Are you trying to tell me you're a hero? Because a hero wouldn't have hid in the library with his face behind a book. A hero would have recognized this very important baby and made sure he was returned safely.
— Police Inspector, The Hero of the Story

The Police Inspector is an antagonistic woman who appears in The Hero of the Story.


The Hero of the Story

You're a villain,, do you know that, Snicket? Only a villain takes a baby that does not belong to him.
— Police Inspector, The Hero of the Story

After the kidnapping of the infant Emperor of Cramiton, the police were on high alert for the infant and kidnapper. Upon being found with a baby in the emperor's clothes, Lemony Snicket is arrested for suspicions of kidnapping.

The Inspector questions Snicket multiple times about where he obtained the baby, to which he replies that he was given the baby by a woman in the park. The Inspector seems haughty and disbelieving, and informs him that the baby is an emperor, and as the Police Commissioner's Daughter overheard him calling the infant "Your Highness" and the Teaman said that Snicket was not babysitting the child and had not seen a woman, Snicket is considered guilty. She leaves him in the interrogation room for the night.

When she returns, she angrily gives back the baby to Snicket, as that child is not the emperor; as such, she treats the baby horribly, and refers to the child as "it." She informs him that now they know his story is not fake, they will look for the child's mother, and leaves. Snicket, thinking her unhelpful and not wanting the baby to be given to a kidnapper, takes her away.

Physical Appearance

She is described as tall and cross-lookin, with her hair in one long braid down her back and a sharp smile like "the kind an alligator must have when a swimmer gets into the water." In the pocket of her uniform is a small handsome notebook and a skinny pen.[1]


Police Inspector: You're in a heap of trouble.
Lemony Snicket: I know it.
The Hero of the Story
The baby is the emperor of Cramiton. It's a tiny region some kilometers away. He won't be crowned until he turns thirteen, but in the meantime he's being cared for in a wonderful palace. A few days ago he went missing. His photograph was in all the newspapers, with an enormous reward for his safe return.
A child in danger is a terrifying emergency, although you're probably too young to understand that. Lucky for you, while you were hiding the emperor in the library, a man happened by and spotted you both through the window. He recognized the emperor immediately and will soon receive the reward. He's a hero, Lemony Snicket, whereas you are a kidnapper and a villain, and you'll be behind bars by sunrise.
He is dressed that way because he is the emperor. Stay here, Snicket, until the jailer arrives to take you away.
Lemony Snicket: So I'm not in a heap of trouble anymore?
Police Inspector: I guess not. And that man won't be getting a reward.
Lemony Snicket: So he's not a hero anymore?
Police Inspector: That's beside the point. The real emperor is still missing. And, of course, we've got to look for this woman you told us about and give her back this baby.
Lemony Snicket: Weren't you looking for her already?
Police Inspector, sourly: No. We thought you were a villain so we didn't believe a word you said. Do me a favor, Snicket, and watch this baby for a minute while we look for its mother.
The Hero of the Story