|“||Neat. Since we started driving this taxi, I've been waiting for someone to say 'follow that car.'||”|
— Squeak Bellerophon, Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights?
Bouvard "Squeak" Bellerophon is a character from the series All the Wrong Questions. He lives in Stain'd-by-the-Sea with his brother, Pecuchet 'Pip' Bellerophon and his father. While his father is sick, he and his brother drive the family taxi. They often drive Lemony Snicket and his associates to various Inhumane Society-related locations, and when Moxie Mallahan hands out business cards to Snicket's associates and ad hoc V.F.D. members they both receive one.
- 1 Biography
- 2 Physical Appearance
- 3 Quotes
- 4 Trivia
- 5 Family
- 6 Appearances
- 7 Gallery
- 8 Sources
Bovard "Squeak" Bellerophon lived with his brother, Pip, and father in Stain'd-by-the-Sea. The brothers eventually took over their father's job driving the Bellerophon Taxi. While they constantly claim he's very sick and will return to his job soon, Snicket believes that their father is "gone forever." As neither brother was old enough nor tall enough to drive on their own, Pip worked the wheel of the car, and Squeak would work the breaks. The brothers were getting food from Jake Hix for some time.
- Lemony Snicket: Nothing personal, but your names make my tongue tired. What do people call you?
- Pip Bellerophon: They call me Pip, and him Squeak.
The Bellerophons park their taxi outside The Lost Arms, where they meet Lemony Snicket and introduce themselves. They agree to drive him to the Mallahan Lighthouse in exchange for a tip instead of the standard fare. Snicket asks if they've driven Murphy Sallis anywhere, and after Pip mentions that the Sallis family had a chauffeur, Squeak mentions that if the Murphy family was back in town, nobody told them. When they arrive at their destination, Snicket gives them a tip to check out a book about a champion of the world by "that author with all the chocolate."
The next day, the brothers run into Snicket again outside the library, and in order to get to Handkerchief Heights, he gives them the tip that "The Long Secret is a better book than the one that came before it"; Squeak says that all of those books are good. Later that night, the brothers pick up Snicket and drive him to 1300 Blotted Boulevard, though they advise him that's the emptiest street in town. His tip is that they should read The Wind in the Willows. They drive all the way down the street, stopping at the empty lot that takes up 1300 Blotted Boulevard.
|“||At seven minutes after, expect the Bellerophon brothers.||”|
— Chapter Eleven
At some point, Pip and Squeak give a ride to Ellington Feint to the abandoned aquarium.
Squeak and his brother go to Hungry's Diner, where Jake gives them soup and Snicket asks for a riddle. After eating and talking about books, the Bellerophon brothers drive Snicket to the lighthouse. When they drive him and Moxie Mallahan back into town, to Partial Foods, Snicket gives them a tip on a book about a girl named Amanda, who is either a witch or a stepsister or both. Moxie asks the brothers if they'd driven Cleo Knight anywhere- like Polly Partial had claimed- and Snicket says they've never driven Cleo, as she had a very fancy car, a Dilemma.
A while later, Pip and Squeak are having dinner at Hungry's when Snicket and Moxie Mallahan enter and request a ride to Colophon Clinic, as they have reason to believe Cleo Knight is being held there. Jake says he'll fix Cleo's Dilemma and meet them there, and the brothers take Snicket and Moxie to the clinic without even asking for a tip.
When they arrive at the clinic, Snicket tells the brothers to let him out and then return to town, but Squeak tells them that they're staying with him- not as if they have a choice, as the gates closed behind them. Snicket tells Pip and Squeak to wait ten minutes before following him and Moxie into the clinic, and then cause a ruckus as a distraction, demanding their fare. By the time Snicket and Jake free Cleo Knight, the Bellerophon brothers had gotten into a fight with Nurse Dander, who had attacked Moxie; they manage to hold her until the Officers Mitchum arrive. Snicket then requests that they put Ellington's files in the attic of Black Cat Coffee for her.
- Pip Bellerophon: I know it doesn't look like much, but Jackie's an excellent mechanic.
- Squeak Bellerophon: You can say that again.
When the brothers' mechanic, Jackie, requires assistance, Pip and Squeak recommend Lemony Snicket and give him a ride over to their garage, Moray Wheels. They introduce them, and Jackie says that the brothers talked him up, and that they need someone very tough, as their dog, Lysistrata, had been kidnapped and held for ransom. Pip and Squeak offer to go with Jackie to deliver the ransom, but Jackie reminds them that the note told them to come alone, and the brothers' taxi would be obvious.
On Sunday, the Bellerophon brothers drive Snicket around the old neighborhood to look for evidence of the Big Bad Brick Gang, and then deposit him in front of Chrysanthemums.
- Squeak Bellerophon: Someday, you'll have to tell us where you learned to do all these difficult things.
- Lemony Snicket: I bet it's no more difficult than learning to drive.
The fake Department of Truancy, made up by Hangfire in an attempt to kidnap the children of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, chases Pip and Squeak into hiding. After three days of no food, the brothers go to Hungry's, only to be chased out by Hungry Hix, who isn't as giving as Jake is. Snicket arrives and informs them that Jake, Cleo, and Moxie were kidnapped, and then he fixes the brothers tandoori chicken with vegetables.
After some hesitation, the brothers give Snicket a ride to Wade Academy, On the drive over, Snicket describes a book he really likes to them as a tip. When the bell rings, Snicket tells the brothers to put masks on even though they don't need them so as not to be suspicious. They arrive at the school, and Snicket asks them to snoop around town, and then share information with him in the morning.
The next morning, the brothers meet Snicket at Wade Academy, and he asks if they'd ever read "any of those mysteries with the Belgian detective in the funny hat," specifically the one that takes place on a train. He describes the ending, where the crime was committed by a great number of people working together, in such a way that nobody knew what the other was doing; Squeak recognizes this as a fragmentary plot, and Snicket then asks them to hitch a wagon to their taxi and fill it with some strange bark and blank books. They then drive him to town, following a school bus from Wade Academy. Snicket then gives them their part of the plan to do.
After he leaves the taxi, Pip and Squeak take the blank books from their wagon and switch them out with all the books in the Stain'd Library, so that the books that had been threatened would remain safe. The brothers do that, and then wait for him outside of The Lost Arms.
When Snicket meets them, they take him back to Wade Academy, where he picks up Ellington Feint for a hayride on the wagon in the back of the taxi. They drop them off at the library, where Stew Mitchum tries to burn the library and Ellington and Snicket stop him by turning on the sprinklers, which ruin only the blank books, while the real library books are safe with the Bellerophons.
Pip and Squeak spend a lot of time with Lemony, secretly hiding the library books in the attic of Black Cat Coffee. Later, they all meet their other associates at Handkerchief Heights, where they have a kind of celebration. When Josephine uses the word "mayday", Squeak explains to his brother the meaning of the word, as well as the fact that it has a french origin. Snicket explains that they will all need to try not to be seen together, in order to keep their fragmentary plot secret. The associates end the dinner with a game of Beethoven.
- Pip Bellerophon: What was it, Snicket? What was that dark thing we saw?
- Squeak Bellerophon: It was something terrible. We only got a quick look, but I had to remind my brother of what you said about getting scared later.
The fourth account of Snicket's time in Stain'd-by-the-Sea is sent to Squeak and Pip, to file under the name of the town, as well as accounts of murder, investigations of; Hangfire; and Bombinating Beast, as well as to CC to VFD headquarters.
The Bellerophon brothers meet Lemony Snicket outside of the train station, and he asks them to take him on a tail job towards a recently departed train, The Thistle of the Valley, and to take him to the train tracks at Partial Foods. As his tip, he recommends the brothers The Turn of the Screw. They later take Ornette Lost to Offshore Island so she can also sneak aboard the train.
The brothers continue following the train, witnessing it crash. The passengers depart, and Pip and Squeak ask Snicket what happened. He explains to them and the other passengers about the mystery that unfolded in their town, and then asks the brothers to restore the library and become the new librarians of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, as well as keep his accounts of his time in the town. They wave goodbye to him as he departs into the Clusterous Forest.
Squeak is described as a little younger than Pip, with a smile "that was slightly wicked around the edges, as if he were the sort of person who occasionally poked his brother too hard."
- Lemony Snicket: "We?" Who's "we?"
- Squeak Bellerophon: "We" is my brother and me.
|“||That's the kind of tip we can use. Pip reads to me between fares.||”|
— Chapter Five
- Lemony Snicket: "The Long Secret" is a better book than the one that comes before it. How's that?
- Pip Bellerophon: That'll do, although Squeak and I have always preferred the one about the tap dancer and the lawyer.
|“||Cleo Knight's never been in our cab. And I can't say I blame her, with a Dilemma like that.||”|
— Chapter Four
- Lemony Snicket: Tell me, why didn't you mention that you picked up Ellington Feint in your cab the other day?
- Pip Bellerophon: You didn't ask.
- Moxie Mallahan: Are you sure you can trust me, Snicket?
- Lemony Snicket: Sure I'm sure, and that goes for you two up front as well.
- Pip Bellerophon: Oh, sure, I'll let you out. 'See you back in town,' he says. Let you out in front of a place like this and see you back in town. Sure, that's something nice guys like me and my brother would do. Nothing wrong with leaving a guy all alone in a dangerous place. Maybe on our way into town we can find a puppy to run over because we're such nice guys.
- Squeak Bellerophon: We're staying here, Snicket. The gates closed behind us anyway.
|“||Not Lysistrata? She's the best watchdog I've ever seen!||”|
— Ransom Note
- Pip Bellerophon: Be a sport, Hungry. We could eat a horse.
- Squeak Bellerophon: We haven't had anything for almost three days.
|“||You mean you want to go exactly where the Department of Truancy wanted to take us?||”|
— Chapter Seven
- Squeak Bellerophon: That's a very handsome bump you have there.
- Lemony Snicket: It's not just handsome. It hurts, too. Where's the school bus? Did you lose it?
|“||What are you up to this time?||”|
— Chapter Eleven
|“||And you hid the books in plain sight, as part of the hayride you took with Ellington Feint.||”|
— Chapter Thirteen
|“||So instead of 'follow that car' it's 'precede that train'?||”|
— Chapter Two
|“||I guess we should keep all our actions quiet. That way Hangfire won't catch on.||”|
— Chapter Two
|“||Snicket, how about you give us a tip like you do?||”|
— Chapter Two
- Squeak Bellerophon: Maybe that's the wrong question. Maybe the right question is, do you really want to be here?
- Lemony Snicket: No, I don't want to be here.
- Squeak Bellerophon: What about you? Are you all right, Snicket?
- Lemony Snicket: Just the opposite.
- He and his brother Pecuchet were named after the famously unfinished novel Bouvard et Pécuchet by French author Gustave Flaubert.
- His surname, Bellerophon, is the name of a greek mythological hero who famously tamed and rode Pegasus.
- When you put his and his brother's nicknames together, you get the word "Pipsqueak" which means someone of diminutive size.
- According to his official profile, his favorite book is Danny, The Champion of the World by Roald Dahl, particularly Chapter Four.
- He seems to know a lot of large words and phrases for his age; he is able to identify a fragmentary plot from Snicket's description and can explain the use and origin of the word "mayday" to his brother.
|Unnamed Father (†?)|
|Pip Bellerophon||Squeak Bellerophon|