|“||It was over the phone, but it sounded like one of them had hair and no beard and the other had a beard and no hair. Real aura of menace. They prepaid.||”|
The Submarine Rental Worker is an unenthusiastic, stoic lady that looks like she is fed-up with life, although it's hard to blame her considering she lives in the dismal universe of A Series of Unfortunate Events.
She was employed at the Submarine Rental service at the time Count Olaf (disguised as Dad) tried to deceive her into renting him a submarine with his Normal Happy Family. She then asks if Esmé Squalor is actually Esmé because the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard already have a submarine arranged for her. Consequently, it turned out there was no need for a disguise.
She is portrayed by Flossie McKnight.