|“||It was over the phone, but it sounded like one of them had hair and no beard and the other had a beard and no hair. Real aura of menace. They prepaid.||”|
The Submarine Rental Worker is an unenthusiastic lady who looks like she is fed-up with life, although it's hard to blame her considering she lives in the dismal universe of A Series of Unfortunate Events.
She works at the Submarine Rental service where Count Olaf (disguised as Dad) tries to fool her into giving him a submarine with his Normal Happy Family. She then asks if Esmé Squalor is Esmé because the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard have a submarine ready for her.
She is played by Flossie McKnight.