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"That's Not How the Story Goes" is a song which Lemony Snicket, Count Olaf, Mr. Poe, and the Baudelaires sang at the end of Season 1.[1]

A reprise version is sung at the end of The Penultimate Peril: Part Two, sang primarily by Violet Baudelaire and Count Olaf.

Lyrics

Original

[Lemony Snicket]
You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail
And be tucked someplace, all safe and sound
Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail
His henchpeople nowhere around
[Olaf]
But there's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
[Poe]
You might think that two parents,
Both brave and both true
Would live 'til a nice, ripe old age
But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you:
The curtain rings down on the stage
[Baudelaires]
Yes, there's no happy endings
Not here and not now
[Olaf]
This tale is all sorrows and woes
[Poe]
You might dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
[Lemony Snicket]
I once loved a girl, and she thought well of me
We thought we'd be happy together
But now I'm alone, as you can well see
And she's cold in her grave forever
[Olaf]
There's no happy endings
Not here and not now
[Baudelaires]
This tale is all sorrows and woes
[Violet]
You might dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
[Olaf]
The world is a pair of ill-fitting pants
And other dire, hideous clothes
[Baudelaires]
You may think that three children would lead pleasant lives,
But that's not how the story goes
[Lemony Snicket]
Some people smile at the end of the day
[Olaf]
Some people laugh, I suppose
[Poe]
But to me, there's nothing but gloom and despair
That's just how the story goes
That's just how the story—
[Mr. Poe coughing]
[Sunny whistling / Poe vocalizing]

Reprise

[Violet]
You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail
And be tucked someplace, all safe and sound
Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail
His henchpeople nowhere around
[Violet and Olaf]
But there's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
You might think that two parents,
Both brave and both true
Would live to a nice, ripe old age
But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you:
The curtain rings down on the stage
[Violet]
Yes
[Violet and Olaf]
There's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
[Olaf]
There's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that the justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
[Violet and Olaf]
There's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
Some people smile at the end of the day
Some people laugh, I suppose
But to me, there's nothing but gloom and despair
But that's how the story goes
[whistling]

Behind the scenes

In the Netflix series, this song is the bookend to season 1, sung by all the main cast at the conclusion of The Miserable Mill: Part Two, the season finale. The reprise acts as a bookend to Lemony Snicket's chronicled tales of the Baudelaires, sung at the conclusion of The Penultimate Peril: Part Two. The photos include Count Olaf's henchpeople, Aunt Josephine talking to Captain Sham, the development of the Sugar Bowl, Madame Lulu, everyone that have perished whether at the Hotel Denouement, the Lake Lachrymose or other places, and the freaks.

Appearances


Sources

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