|“||Welcome to the Anxious Clown restaurant- where everybody has a good time, whether they like it or not.||”|
While The Anxious Clown is located in the coastal city next to Lake Lachrymose, imagery of the establishment can also be seen in The City. It could potentially be the same building, though there is a possibility that The Anxious Clown is a chain restaurant.
The restaurant itself is said to be terrible-looking and garish, with neon lights and neon balloons put on display in the window. Its food is also described to be terrible, though it is kept warm. The "obnoxious" waiters dress in goofy clown costumes to fit the restaurant's theme.
When Lemony Snicket had to flee the country, his brother Jacques instructed him to flee to the Anxious Clown and wait for a volunteer disguised as a waiter to appear and give him the code phrase, upon which the waiter would provide him with instructions on how to flee the country.
Later on, the restaurant was attended by Arthur Poe, Count Olaf and Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire upon Olaf's request, in an attempt to gain access to the Baudelaire Fortune. After failing to notice a code phrase from their waiter, Larry, the children fled when they ate peppermints to give themselves allergic reactions, while the adults stay behind to fill out the adoption paperwork.
Later, Arthur Poe re-attended the restaurant with his wife, Eleonora; the two of them seemed to enjoy the otherwise widely disliked food. Their waiter, however, rather annoyingly and persistently attempted to send them a code phrase that they ignored. Arthur attempted to bring up his concerns with her coverage of the Baudelaire children's story, but she noticed they were being recorded by their waiter and thus, the known conversation ended there. The audiotape was later stored within a copy of Ivan Lachrymose: Lake Explorer at a library.
- Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers - pickles, mustard and ketchup make a little smiley face atop the burger
- Extra Fun Special Family Appetizer - a bunch of "things" fried up together and served with a sauce
- Ice Cubes
- Red Wine
- Surprising Chicken Salad - apparently terrible
- The Anxious Clown might be a parody of real-life fast food chain Jack in the Box since its illustrated mascot's face resembles that of a clown's.