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Tut tut. Stationary chairs are the devil's handiwork. If human beings were meant to sit without moving back and forth, we wouldn't have leg muscles or wind.
 

Thomasina Cozy is a woman who lives in a cramped apartment above her business, Cozy's, in Stain'd-by-the-Sea. She appears in File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, in the ninth incident, "Midnight Demon."

Biography

Early Life

Thomasina Cozy: The twins are all I have since their father died in a stationary chair accident.
Tatiana Cozy: Our father died choking on a fish bone. He just happened to be sitting at the time.
—Midnight Demon
Thomasina lived in Stain'd-by-the-Sea with her husband and twin children, Tatiana and Treacle, where the family owned a rocking chair business called Cozy's. She consdered her and her husband to have a successful marriage, despite the fact the only thing they had in common was a love of horror movies and big-boned fish. 

Her husband died choking on a fish bone, though she blamed the "stationary chair" he was seated in at the time. Cozy's fell on hard times after the economic collapse of the town. Though her children insisted that they were hard workers and could run Cozy's themselves, and perhaps make it profitable again, Thomasina refused to listen to them.

She notes that she goes to sleep every night at nine-fifteen. She also seems to be fond of saying "tut tut."[1]

File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

Midnight Demon

The marriage I've arranged for my daughter is being ruined by a demon.
 
In an attempt to ensure that her children remained safe after she eventually dies, Thomasina arranges a marriage between Tatiana and Baron von Pendle, the nephew of the inventor of the swingset. Tatiana was not enthusiastic about the marriage, but neither Thomasina nor the Baron cared much about her opinion on the matter. 

However, the Baron came to Thomasina with concerns; he'd been seeing a figure that looked exactly like Tatiana walking Gobi Pier at midnight, and believed she may be an insomniac. As he is an insomniac himself, he did not want to marry another. Thomasina checked in on her daughter every night to ensure she was asleep, but for nine nights the sightings continued. Thomasina became convinced that this figure was a demon, trying to ruin the wedding. 

Thomasina hears that Lemony Snicket has been solving mysteries around town, and so she sends him a note on frilly stationary asking him to come help her solve the case. When he arrives and compliments her store, she explains that they're losing business due to lack of customers and a preference for stationary chairs. Tatiana and Treacle suggest selling other items, but Thomasina won't hear of it. 

After hearing her story, Snicket agrees to help by going for a walk with Tatiana that night at eleven, and though Thomasina disapproves, she agrees to the plan so long as they stay out of the Baron's sight. She waves goodbye to them as they leave, and tells them that she'll be up all night worrying, and that she's going to bed.

Quotes

File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

Lemony Snicket: Of course, Mrs. Cozy. This is a very lovely shop you have here.
Thomasina Cozy: I'm afraid it's a shadow of its former self. In Stain'd-by-the-Sea's glory days, our rocking chairs were the prized possession of anyone who liked to sit. Nowadays we have hardly any customers, and those who wander in seem to prefer stationary chairs.'
—Midnight Demon
Sometimes I think we should sell something else, but what else could be sold at a store called Cozy's?
 
— Midnight Demon
Tut tut. I've taken care of that. Once Tatiana marries Baron von Pendle, all our problems will be solved.
 
— Midnight Demon
You don't need much in common to have a successful marriage. All your father and I had in common was that we both liked scary movies and eating big-boned fish.
 
— Midnight Demon
Baron von Pendle is a very wealthy man. His uncle invented the swing set, and when the two moving-seat families join together, I can go to my grave without worrying that you twins will end up living on the streets.
 
— Midnight Demon
Thomasina Cozy: Children think they know everything, don't you agree, Mr. Snicket?
Tatiana Cozy: Mother, Mr. Snicket is a child.
Thomasina Cozy: I hadn't heard you were a child. I'd heard you'd untangled a lot of problems in our little town, which is why I wrote to you.
—Midnight Demon
There are words for a woman who walks the streets at night. Words llike insomniac.
 
— Midnight Demon
You can't have two insomniacs in the same household. Who will make the oatmeal?
 
— Midnight Demon
Something is taking the form of my daughter, to cancel the wedding and ruin my life. A demon is the only reasonable explanation.
 
— Midnight Demon

Physical Appearance

Lemony Snicket says of Thomasina Cozy:

I need hardly describe her[...] the old woman who ran the place looked exactly like the sort of old woman who would ask you in a handwritten note on frilly stationary to come to her rocking chair store called Cozy's because she had something on her mind that worried her very much.
 

She seems to have untreated vision problems, as she was unable to realize that twelve-year-old Lemony Snicket was a child. Unlike her children, she does not have glasses. 

Family

 
Thomasina Cozy
 
 
 
Unnamed
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Tatiana Cozy
 
 
Treacle Cozy


Appearances


Sources

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